Sunday, October 28, 2012

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of knowledge of him.  For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."  2 Corinthians 2:14-15."

It's been a while since I've written... not because I haven't had anything to write about.  I have tried to take this time to pause with my blogging and see if I could go deeper with my perspective.  I struggle so much with the depth of scripture.  It's so rich and every time I read my bible, the Holy Spirit penetrates my heart more than I expected and I love the Lord more than I did the moment before and again, my sinful heart is revealed.  My theme doesn't change.  I need the Lord more than I thought I did and thankfully, HIS hand is always there for me to take.

Yesterday, I had a unique moment and I want to write about it before I forget the details.  I promise I will try and write a blog next week about the entire family but this was one of those moments that I don't need to forget.  I'm already teary :)  Joan has been in school for about one year.  One year ago, she had no "language".  Yes, she could communicate and she did it well but as far as an official language, she had none.  I remember the day I was parked in front of Oak Mountain Middle School and Joel sent me a picture of her.  She was tiny wearing a little red dress reaching up on a tattered chalkboard writing her name for the first time.  His comment to me was something like "if she can write, she can learn".  Joel may have been the first person in her life to believe in this little girl who could not hear.  He saw her worth and her value when many around her did not.  Oh Joel, I will love you forever for your love for Joanie. :)  Fast forward a little over a year.  Yesterday, we had a video phone installed for Joan.  This means that she now has a phone in the kitchen.  It's a flat screen t.v. that is connected through the internet.  If she calls you, she is physically standing in the kitchen signing to an interpreter who is her voice to whomever is on the other end of the phone.  If she calls a friend who is deaf and they also have a video phone, they have a spit screen and they sign to each other directly.  (Forgive me my deaf friends that know this system.  That may not have been an accurate description of how the system works exactly.)  Anyway, Joan's new friend Jerry came to install the system yesterday.  She greeted him at the front door.  At first she was not sure about him but as soon as he started signing to her, she became all about Jerry.  I regret not taking their picture together :(  Anyway, Jerry installed our system.  For the 3 hours that he was in our home, Joan was beginning to figure out what all of this was and what it would mean in her life.  I still didn't comprehend what this new phone system would mean in my life and really hadn't thought about that perspective.  When Jerry was ready to test the system, he suggested that I go outside on with my cell phone and he and Joan would call me.  This would be our first call.  I walked to the end of my driveway and my cell phone rang.  A lady came on the line and she was "voicing" for Joan.  Even though it was a lady, she was voicing what Joanie was signing.  She said, "Mommy, this is Joan.  I love you. I love you.  I want to carve pumpkins."  My child had a voice yesterday.  My child was able to talk to me when I wasn't looking at her.  Yes, there was a brief, brief moment I grieved her hearing again...it was bitter sweet.  But, God is SOOOO GOOD!  I talked back to the lady and she was signing to Joan and I know Joan understood that the lady's signing was me talking to Joan.  It was humbling that I could not talk to her myself but the Lord's provision was perfect and I'm so thankful for this technology.  I had tears in my voice, the lady signing for us had tears in her voice and I walked back in the house and Jerry had tears also.  Joan was soooo excited and she completely understood what was happening.  Joanie wanted to begin calling all of her friends and she did make a few calls.  We had a different interpreter each time we made a different call and each time, I could see how this child of God, spread the Love of Christ without a voice but with the most beautiful signing and expressions that I have ever seen.  God enlarged her territory yesterday with her new phone.  She was happy talking with the interpreter's.  She asked each one of them their name.  They are not suppose to give out their name but one of them (who was deaf) told her his name but asked her to keep it a secret.  She loved this because she's learning to keep secrets...We have to practice this before Christmas or she will tell every gift that she purchases for everyone.  Anyway, maybe you will get a call from Joan.  It may make you uncomfortable because you will have to depend on an interpreter...but isn't that what the Holy Spirit is...an interpreter so that we can let God penetrate our hearts and minds even more?  It's okay to feel uncomfortable when Joan calls you on her new phone.  It's okay to admit you need help talking to her but don't let pride inhibit a relationship with her.  This is her way of communicating and I promise you will be blessed when you experience it with her.  The Lord has enlarged her territory.  I'm humbled by his provision.  "But thanks be to God, who ALWAYS lead us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him."  Father, help us to spread the good news of YOU and the sweetness of YOUR love for us.  Help all of our words and actions be pleasing to YOU!  Help us to always choose YOU!

Love to ALL!

Amiee :)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

"We are Back to School"

"After this I heard what sounded like the roar of a great multitude in heaven shouting:  "Hallelujah!"  Salvation and glory and power belong to our God,..."


"There is a "roar" in heaven when these children pray!"

School has finally started back.  It's going really well for everyone.  Laurel is a junior.  Coleman is a freshman.  Shamira is in 6th grade.  Joan is in first and Derrick is in Kindergarten.  I feel like a shuttle some days having 5 children in 4 different schools but God always gets me where I need to be and I haven't forgotten anyone yet.  Shamira has one final medical test to be done.  As soon as I have a date for surgery I will be asking for prayers for her and her team.  Over the past two or three weeks I have forgotten why she was here.  I don't see the scars when I look at her anymore.  I see an excitement about being a part of our family and the joy and love she has for us humbles me every day.  She's not fearful of us anymore.  She has opened up about her past and she is beginning to trust us.  God has brought her here but I'm beginning to see that HE is using her in my life to remind me that I am not in control.  HE is.  Sometimes things aren't always the way they seem.  I have struggled with that so much.  I'm a "rule follower".  I like to make a list and mark it off.  What God continues to show me through Uganda is that I am to live one day at a time and that HE will give me the plan.  I am not to make it for HIM.  I could go through the list of places Shamira has been and all of the first foods and experiences that she has tried but nothing compares to seeing her embrace the new life God is giving her.  Her testimony is powerful and I can't wait for her to share it...hopefully soon.  

Since J and D have been here for a year, I decided to let them each choose an extra curricular activity.  D has chosen soccer.  His first game is this Saturday.  He hasn't been to a practice yet.  But he has worn his shin guards and socks a good bit so I'm pretty sure he's ready at anytime if the coach calls and says "lets go." He's most excited about getting gatorade after the game because that's what Coleman does.  I'll be looking forward to posting a quick update after the first game.  I have no idea what to expect but for sure a lot of smiles.  

Joanie is in dance.  All she really wanted to do was ballet.  She didn't want the tap and jazz shoes.  Laurel goes with her to interpret for her.  The lady at the studio told me Joan would be fine to be in there without someone signing for her.  I got a little offended by this because of course no one can sign to Joan.  Joan deserves to know what conversations others are having with her.  My heart ached a little thinking about Joan's deafness again.  It is not a problem for Joan...it's my problem.  But, she is my baby and I will always fight for her to have  language  and if I have to go to every dance class, every activity she wants to participate in I will.  I'm learning sign language as fast as I can.  It's getting a little easier but I still have a long way to go.   Oh Joanie...you give me gray hairs but you are keeping me young :)

I'm so proud of Laurel.  She is running cross country.  It wasn't her choice but she is doing it and she is sticking with it.  She is responding and not reacting to this decision that was made for her and I love her for this.  I love her coach and his philosophy and I think he will be a positive influence on Laurel.   Laurel has a way of encouraging others that is a gift from God.  I have a feeling, she is getting to use this gift through her cross country training.  I can't wait to go to her first meet.  I'll be waiting for her as she crosses the finish line.  I am her number one fan :)

Coleman is playing football.  I don't understand all of the positions he plays.  I don't understand the veer offense.  I try not to ask to many questions because I sense a tad of annoyance when I do.  My role is to be the prayer warrior for him and to gently remind him that in "all things we are to glorify God."  I believe Coleman does glorify God.  I  whisper to him no matter if you win or loose, you can still glorify God.  I remind him to pray for himself and his teammates.  Teaching him to pray is all I can teach him about football.  I have to admit, I am less excited about him playing high school football.  There seems to be such a variance of sizes of children...they are still children to me.  They don't have the "little children" smell anymore.  They smell BAD.  But, they are children.  I'm seeing Laurel and Coleman turn into a handsome young man and a beautiful young woman before my very eyes.  I see their brown eyed siblings look to them for wisdom and advice and love.  It's a beautiful thing. It's a God thing.  I am blessed to witness it and write it down.  

Todd's extra curricular activity is the NFL Sunday package on Direct T.V. and LSU.  You would really think with all of the games I have watched with him over almost 22 years of marriage I would understand the game a little better.  I don't.  I have a gift of "tuning out sports".  What can I say?  God equipped me in this way because HE knew I couldn't take it.  I LOVE to watch football and golf with Todd.  Some of the best naps I've taken have been during some of the biggest games :)  It works for us. 

I posted the picture above because as school has started and I have worked to get 5 children's back to school clothes, 5 children's immunizations, school supply lists, meet the teachers, schedules, etc. I am reminded that the children at Rays of Hope are still just as thankful probably more thankful to have a safe place to go and maybe get two meals a day.  As I stay in the ways of this world, they are truly living one day at a time.  God uses them in my life to whisper to me, "in all things, Glorify Me..." When they worship, it is a "roar of great multitude".  Lord, help me to remember that all of the busyness that I create for my children the most important lesson I can teach them is "Salvation and power and glory belong to YOU!"

Halleluja!

Amiee :)


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

"One Year Ago"

"For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."  Ephesians 2: 8-10

"One year ago"
This morning as I am reflecting over the past year, my heart is heavy and thankful. It's been one year since the good Lord brought Joan and Derrick home.  I am blessed.  I have watched God move mountains in Uganda and in America.  Through the adoption process, God showed me how "powerless" I am and how MIGHTY HE is.  I haven't gone back and read my previous blogs but I remember I surrendered.  I remember I was broken.  I remember HE didn't forsake me or the children.  I remember I couldn't wait to hold them, feed them and love them.  They were soooooo much smaller than I thought they would be.  Joan's spirit was larger than life...it still is.  Derrick was timid and gentle and his eyes...how could anyone not adore him.  I remember on the plane ride to Africa, a little past Amsterdam I had slight chest pains.  We were just over half way there and we had been traveling a long, long time.  They were still so far away.  This trip was my first time out of the USA.  As we got closer to Uganda, the food changed, the language changed, my comfort level changed.  I quickly became a minority.  As I remember that night at Entebbe Airport, I long to go back to that uncomfortableness because through that, I was so close to the LORD.  I was uncomfortable but I wasn't afraid.  "Pre-Uganda", uncomfortable meant fearful to me.  The loving arms of Christ were waiting to welcome me in the airport that night, through Joan and Derrick but also Joel, Colby and Allen.  Christ was waiting for me at SOZO.  He's there!  The SOZO children's English was not as easy for me to understand as I had hoped.  Their Ugandan accent was strong.  It didn't matter.  I had heard their stories.  I had seen their pictures from the year before.  I had seen their "brokenness" and it broke me.  The way they worship is more powerful than any church service I have ever experienced.  It is beautiful, glorifying and HOLY!  Thanks to the obedience of a few, (Alan, Jay and Suzanne) the love of Christ is living through these children and they are AMAZING.  It's the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed in my life.  I spend a lot of time "blogging" about the one's that live with me.  I enjoy sharing about them.  But, I can never forget where they came from and the one's that God has called to be the Light in the darkness, the SOZO children, the SOZO family.  Many people think that my children are SOZO children.  They are part of the SOZO family but they are Rays of Hope children.  When all of the Rays of Hope children are living in a SOZO house or they are sponsored and fed regularly, Joan, Derrick and Shamira will be SOZO children.  I pray for that to be soon!  There is nothing I can boast about raising these children.  If you could see what Aggie, Matto and the rest of the SOZO parents do, my life looks easy.  What a privilege it is for me to get to be a part of these children's journey!  My faith is what sustains me each day.  I don't want my life to be about me being comfortable and satisfied.  I want my life to reflect the Glory of God's grace.  I want to raise my children to depend on HIM, not on me.  It's so hard but so necessary.  I don't know what challenges today will bring but I know HE will be there with me.  I am praying about taking another trip to Uganda.  I don't know what that will look like.  HE's got me on a "need to know" basis and when it's time HE will let me know :)  If you have questions about Uganda, SOZO, Rays of Hope, please feel free to email me.  I'm praying that my "blogging" will begin to go a little deeper and that God will continue to stretch me.  Thank you Father for YOUR grace.  YOUR grace has saved me :)

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)

Saturday, July 28, 2012

"... choose this day whom you will serve..."Joshua 24:15

We had a WONDERFUL vacation over the fourth of July.  We went to the beach.  Everyone had a different favorite moment.  My favorite moment was watching Shamira see the ocean for the first time.  (Joan and Derrick had already been to the beach last fall.)  She was so excited!  The sand was clean and white.  The water was clear and the waves were just high enough to be fun but not over powering.  I had started reading a "Junie B. Jones" book with Shamira a couple of weeks ago.  She could read all of the words in the book.  The story was about Junie going on "vacation".  I asked Shamira if she knew what a vacation was.  She said "no".  I explained to her that on "vacation" you go with your family to another town to "get away" from all of the stress of the day to day activity.  You rest, overeat, and pray that your soul will feel rejuvenated so that when you return home, you can go back to the insanity of the world.  Shamira was probably thinking, "what do you have to get away from?".   She just hasn't lived here long enough yet. :)  There is so much in my definition of "vacation" that I need to examine.  Truly, Uganda was a "vacation" for me last summer and I DIDNOT rest or overeat BUT my soul was rejuvenated in a way that it never has been before.


Shamira has been here for one month.  There is nothing she will not eat.  There is nothing she hasn't embraced about "the American way".  I have to admit, I can't imagine my life without her.  She is slowly creeping into my heart.  My mind is saying this will be to much for me.  My mind is saying I won't be able to keep up with 5 kids.  My heart won't be able to take her back to Uganda.  Then, in the chaos of having 5 children, my husband says, "she's already my daughter".  There it is!  The Holy Spirit has spoken to me through my husband.  Remember, when I surrendered to God, the first thing HE showed me was that I needed to submit to my husband.  I have had some very good conversations with some of you about the difference in "submitting" vs. "surrendering".  I have surrendered.  The world encourages me to pick up what I have already put down.  I'm thankful that I recognize this and have sisters that remind me when I don't remember.  The bottom line is who am I going to "choose this day to serve".  I choose HIM.  I chose HIM.  I have not gone back on my decision.  So, what does that look like in my life?  It means I will live one day at a time.  I will not think about the complications of having 5 children, all with "special needs".   God will show me the way each and every minute.  I will not worry about what tomorrow will bring.  I will thank God every day for the blessings HE has given me.

"I'm pretty sure Joel was provoking the ostrich!"

"Happy Birthday 2011 Derrick!"


 July 9th, 2012, we celebrated Derrick's birthday.  Last year, Laurel and I celebrated with Derrick, Joan, Kenneth and Joel at the zoo in Uganda.  It was quite an experience.  They had monkeys crawling all over the outside of the cages.  Some of the fences were about waist high with a big ditch between us and the animals.  It didn't look to be the "safest zoo" I had ever been to but being with Derrick on his birthday was an answered prayer.  I was thankful to be with him.  This year, we had a Spider Man cake, and by Derrick's request, "a big juicy steak".  The children have watched others have birthday's for a year and so this birthday was really exciting for Derrick.  Joan is already counting the days on the calendar for hers next month.  Shamira's birthday is Christmas Day!

Last week, Shamira saw the orthopedic surgeon.  He couldn't have been any nicer.  He says it's going to be very difficult to "straighten" her arm.  He has operated on many NFL players and he may not realize the prayer warriors that will be with him while he's caring for sweet Shamira. All I could think when he was telling me how challenging this operation  was going to be, "I've seen God move mountains."  I'm praying that God will move a mountain with Shamira's healing.  We are anticipating surgery the first of August.  I don't know much more than that.  I'm hopeful that she can start school in August or September.  She has no idea what can and will be done cosmetically to her body.  All she asks for is to be able to use her arm.

As I have spent the summer home with the children, God has reminded me again and again of HIS mercy on my life.  The older girls have shared some of their memories of Joan in Kabalagala.  These stories break my heart for what breaks HIS.  There's no doubt in my mind or in my heart that our "transracial family" is part of HIS plan.  I had a sweet friend ask me to share my testimony about our adoption.  After reflecting upon her request, I told her my testimony is about obedience, not adoption.  God has used adoption to give me a platform to reveal my sinful heart and how if I obey HIM, HE blesses my life in ways that I wouldn't have dared to ask.  I pray that I never forget whom I serve and that HE breaks my heart for what breaks HIS.

Praising HIM From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)



Sunday, June 10, 2012

"Expectations"

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." Romans 15: 1-2

It's been two weeks since Shamira and Phiona have been in America.  We are learning a lot about each other.  I am learning a lot about myself as well.  It's very tempting for me to share only part of our time together but I am reminded that God is glorified by our trials and suffering...James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."  So, I am considering it "pure joy" that we are facing a few trials of many kinds.  I know that my faith is being testing and I know that God will persevere.  There have been some surprises for me living with Shamira.  That means that I had "expectations" and I should not have.  My hope was in my own knowledge of what I thought would happen instead of waiting for God to show me.  I have recognized this and I have put "expectations" down.  Expectations can be a trap that Satan sets for me when I become complacent with my relationship with the Lord.  Thank you Father that I recognize this.  Here are some of the things I have learned about Shamira...She's the best dancer in the family...sorry Joanie but she just is.  Hamburgers are her favorite food.  She likes to eat, a lot!  She would rather take a bath than a shower.  She misses some of the relationships she had in Kabalagala.  She is afraid of the night, not the dark.  She LOVES Todd!  She likes to set the table and start the dishwasher...even if there are only a few dishes in it :)  She likes to "shadow"...color.  She likes math better than reading.  She says she wants to be an accountant because she likes to count money...I have no idea where she learned about accountants.  She is not attached to me yet.  I think I can go as far to say she avoids me.  I think I scare her.  This has really perplexed me. (pride? yes!)  Trust is something I desire but when I really start to think about it, it's something I struggle with.  Maybe she does too.  On Thursday we went to see the surgeon that has bent over backwards to get her to the United States but also is completely devoted to seeing this child's body be healed.  His name is Dr. Michael Beckinstein.  You will be hearing a lot about him.  When Todd called him to ask if he would consider helping Shamira Todd had not even finished with her story and he said "YES!"  Her appointment was Thursday and Dr. Beckinstein called Todd about 7:30 Wednesday night to see if we'd like to meet him with Shamira to get yogurt.  Dr. B thought she might be more comfortable seeing him on Thursday if she had met him before.  (I have not heard of a doctor going this much out of the way for a patient.)  Again, it's great not to have expectations.  So much to the dismay of the rest of the children, the three of us went to meet Dr. Beckinstein, his daughter and her friend for yogurt.  We had a great time.  I don't think I mentioned previously, Shamira has been a handful for me... I hadn't "expected" her to be.  God knew she was going to be but  I hadn't "expected" her to be.  I was disappointed, a little mad and resentful that I am really having to treat her more like a 3 year old than a 12 year old.  I didn't "expect" her to like to play with light switches, the blinds, the garage door opener, the t.v., the remote controls, the dishwasher, to hide when I call her, to pull things out of the attic, to eat candy and hide it from me, etc.  My fault, not hers... I'm the one that had "expectations".  We had a great time at the yogurt place!  Dr. Beckinstein's daughter was so good with Shamira.  They are almost the same age.  It was truly surreal sitting there with them.  I saw Shamira's demeanor soften a bit.  I saw her cling to Todd with her eyes.  He is her safe place.  The next day, she and I went for her appointment with Dr. Beckinstein.  They treated her like she was the only patient they had.  Their waiting room was packed.  We only waited for a few minutes.  I noticed Shamria had a hard time focusing.  The waiting room was beautiful, probably not like the other doctors offices and hospitals she's been to before.  They called us back and every single person we walked past introduced themselves to us.  Shamira looked timid and unsure.  They went beyond what I "expected".  I had seen pictures of Shamira's scars but I have never seen them for myself.  Some of them you can see when she wears a sundress but the worst part you cannot see when she's clothed.  They gave her the paper gown to put on and she giggled.  I didn't "expect" it to bother her as much as it did. She hid her face but I was thankful she didn't run out of the room.  As she sat on the table waiting for Dr. Beckinstein to come in, she stared out of the window.  It was a beautiful view of the city of Birmingham.  I wanted to know so badly what she was thinking but at the same time I could see she was working things out in her mind.  She was remembering why she was in the US...it wasn't to go tubing or play with friends...it was to heal her.  I asked her, "what are you thinking?"  She answered, "it's very different here".  That's all she said and I left it at that.  I knew her story of how her accident happened.  I have never heard it from her but I asked her before we got to the doctor if she could tell me how she got her scars.  All she told me was that her "step mom" poured the "pot" on her and her "sister" took her to the doctor.  As she was undressing from her paper gown and I saw for myself her scars, God broke my heart...She wouldn't look at herself in the mirror.  She closed her eyes and covered her face.   Another woman did this to her, someone that should have protected her!  In her mind, I may be no different that her step mom.  It's going to take her a while to trust me.  I am going to have to earn it before she gives it to me.  God showed that to me in the office that day.  How could someone have done this to her, especially a woman?  I do not understand.  There are a lot of things I don't understand about Kabalagala and I'm never going to.  I do not know if this woman that did this to her is alive or dead.  I do not know her circumstances.  If she is alive, I would not be surprised if I met her.  I don't know why but that's how I feel.  Dr. Beckinstein told me that we would start surgeries in July.  He said the first one is going to be the hardest.  It will be painful for her.  It will be a slow process of healing.  As we were leaving the office another lady on his staff introduced herself to Shamira and told her, "you are part of our family now and we are going to take care of you".  I'd like to take that lady to Uganda with me.  That's it!  WE are All family and that is how you love your neighbor.  She gets it!  Dr. Beckinstein "gets it".  I'm so honored to be on this journey with Shamira.  Oh Shamira, forgive me for having "expectations" of you.  You are a precious child of the King of Kings!  You are beautiful and wonderfully made in HIS image.  You are HIS daughter and HE counts you worthy!  Lord, equip our family to love her through her journey.  Give me extra patients and understanding with her.  Help me to put my "expectations" down!  Thank you for sharing her with us.  Lord, we who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak.  Lord, I am strong only through YOUR grace.  Help me to live to please YOU and not myself.  Help Shamira to see YOUR love for her through our family.  Protect my marriage and my children during this time of healing her body.  Put an extra hedge of protection around our home.  Satan hates what is happening through SOZO Father.  Help our resolve to stay in Uganda become even stronger.  Bless each child at SOZO and Rays of Hope today. Lord, give others the courage to serve these children.  Make us so uncomfortable through their suffering that we move closer to YOU.  Help me to live to please YOU and to build up my neighbors.

In Your Grip,

Amiee :)

Thursday, May 31, 2012

"You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked."  Revelation 3:17


"Waiting"


"Skyping with Joel"



"Tubing at the Lake"


"Laurel and Shamria swimming"


Two days ago, my blended family was normal and I didn't even know it.  We had a routine.  We have traditions.  We work together to achieve a common goal, whether it's getting to an activity together on time, celebrating that we didn't get an 'opp's note' at school, etc.  Normal things that happen in every family that we have worked so hard to achieve have quickly become "our new normal".  We have worked through so much and it's really only been about 10 months.  This time last year, I dreamed of getting my two brown babies home safe and sound.  On Thursday, May 24th, 2012, two worlds collided, again.  I didn't know that was what was happening but guess who did?  The MAN upstairs... He knew because HE has brought two of HIS most precious children to Alabama.  Why did HE do this?  Because HE loves us...The meeting at the airport was again surreal.  It was not like when Joan and Derrick came home but it was ordained by God.  Their flights were not delayed.  I did not have the relationship with these children like I had with Joan and Derrick.  The circumstances are definitely different.  They are here for medical needs...that's what I told myself anyway.  That's what I prepared for by sending email after email...it's all about helping the poor, the fatherless...Right?  I didn't realize that I was "wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked".  I'm going to journal as truthfully as I can because that is the only way I will be able to see truly how GREAT our GOD is.  As the girls were walking towards us, they had their heads down with "hoodies" on.  I couldn't see their faces.  I couldn't imagine their "excitement"...They looked exhausted and one of them looked scared to me.  I don't think she was but I would have been.  Maybe she was.   I reluctantly embraced them because they seemed so fragile.  I am a stranger to them.  They are a stranger to me.  They asked for two things before they left Uganda...Was there going to be ice cream on the plane and would Todd be at the airport waiting for them.  I don't know if they had ice cream or not but Todd was waiting for the girls at the gate and his excitement was contagious.  They were so happy to see him and Suzanne and we were all glad they finally made it safely.  We had a late lunch with Suzanne and a few others.  It was interesting to see the dynamics change immediately in my "new normal family".  I saw my brown children go back to Kabalagala.  Todd and I expected this.  If they were still living in Uganda, these 12 year old children would be my 5 and 7 year old children's care takers.  These 12 year old girls are considered "grown women" in their culture.   There is very little opportunity for them.  I'm sure they are in a bit of "culture shock".  So am I.   I will reluctantly share with you that Shamira will not look at me when she talks to me.  When I call her name, she sometimes runs from me and hides, even locked the door on me once...( I do know how to turn those locks around.  We had to do that with Laurel and Joanie :)  She is still on a different time zone and I'm sure that will get better quickly.  We are now teaching Joan and Derrick that  Shamira is "not the boss" of them and we are teaching Shamira that "Todd and I are the boss of her".  I can't imagine how conflicted she must feel.  She is not used to having a bed or a home like the one she's in now.  She has been protecting herself for 12 years...her entire life and now the "muzunga's" are trying to tell her what to do and what NOT to do...Maybe she'd rather be poor again but God said "NO".  He has blessed our lives with each other and I will obey HIM.  It will not be easy.  It is going to be exhausting but we will glorify the LORD with our suffering.  (I do think we are going to suffer.)  Unfortunately, God knows I drift if I'm not seeing HIS cross right in front of me.  I will see HIS cross through these precious children.  I pray that I can reflect the same unconditional love that HE has for me to them.  They are going to endure a lot.  There is no way they can comprehend this.  They are not supposed to.  I think it could be through the medical journey when they realize, "we need these muzunga's".  God has called our family to love them through it.  He knows we can and I pray that we will.  It will be a choice to love them well, not a feeling always.  We are trying not to look past today because that's all we have.  We took the girls to the lake.  They had never been swimming before and they were so excited.  They warmed up to the water as the day went on and they were sad to leave.  Every moment is a "disney world" moment to them.  They have had their first warm shower, ridden their first bike, eaten ice cream whenever they wanted, slept in beds, all things my prideful self think I deserve daily.  So, our Great Creator brought these girls to Eagle Valley Lane to once again reveal my pride because HE loves me and HE continues to pursue me.  I can't seem to talk HIM out of it :)

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

"HIS higher ways and HIS thoughts"
I usaually turn to this scripture for comfort when I am sad or when my flesh is weary because I have not gotten "my way". This morning as I am reading this scripture I'm reminded that I cannot comprehend the love the LORD has for me. Not only are HIS ideas that make my heart sometimes ache "higher than my ways" so is the joy that HE wants me to recieve. My children are proof of this. Today at 1:00, Coleman will no longer be a middle schooler but a "high schooler". Yes, I will be teary eyed when I pick him up. He was the most beautiful baby... He had the biggest blue eyes and yes, he was a "momma's boy". The LORD has given me Coleman to reflect the gentle spirit that the LORD has for me. Coleman is guided by a loving tone and he is not afraid to love others who are different from him. I cannot wait to see how the LORD will use Coleman for HIS glory.  Coleman, I'm so thankful God shared you with me.  Laurel will be a junior! Oh my goodness! I remember dropping her off at kindergarten with her little pink wire rim glasses and her beautiful blonde hair. God has given me Laurel to reflect HIS steadfastness in my life. She is loyal and she is constant. She is dependable and kind. Laurel doesn't waiver in her faith. The LORD is using her in a mighty way in my life.   I love you Lala!   Joanie, Joanie, Joanie... at 1:00 today, she will be a first grader! The child that had no language has run Mrs. B's kindergarten class this year. (Not really but she thinks she has.) God gave me Joan to remind me of HIS forgiveness of my sin. Even though she is still learning this concept (so am I by the way) I see glimpses of sin in my life of holding onto hate. Anything that is not love is hate. There is no grey area. As I walk beside Joanie through her trials, the Lord is continuing to show me my sin and through Joan, HE is teaching me to rely on HIM to meet all of my needs. She reminds me that my children are not my children...they are HIS and so am I. Derrick is my brown baby that NEVER stops talking. He says to me, "Momma, let me love your cheeks" then he pushes his little soft brown face to mine and holds me close. The LORD has given me Derrick to remind me that when I can't pray for myself, the Holy Spirit knows what I need and HE is interceding on my behalf. God gave me Derrick because Derrick is my unexpected mercy. When we said we would adopt Joan we didn't know that Joan had a little brother. God knew we needed Derrick and thankfully, we knew he was ours. Derrick brings laughter into our lives. He is the best dancer in the family! Today at 3:00, the Lord is bringing two more children into our lives. They are coming here so that their bodies can heal but I have no doubt, the LORD is bringing them to continue to heal my sinful heart. Please pray for Phionna and Shamira today. The LORD has prepared them for this journey.  I can't begin to imagine what they are thinking today. PLEASE lift them up as they come to the US for physical healing. Uganda is a looooonnnng way from here. I could make a long list of things that will be different for them. Our lives are about to change again and I'm thankful. God keeps moving me and stretching me.  I think that's where the wrinkles are coming from:)  I count everyone of them as a blessing.

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)

Sunday, May 20, 2012

"Are we there yet?"

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"Phionna and Shamira"
 We'll they are coming. I wonder if they have any idea where they are coming...how far apart we really are from Uganda.   Instead of asking, "Are we there yet?" on a trip Derrick asks "is it as far away as SOZO?". That trip makes every other trip seem easy. God does meet all of my needs...everyday. It's usually with others that HE meets my needs. Someone will send me a note that lifts my spirits and gets my focus off myself and reminds me of the glory that surrounds me. Someone stops by and prays for my children. Unexpected...that's what makes me smile. Unexpected...but shouldn't I expect it? Shouldn't I expect that "God will meet all of my needs according to HIS glorious riches in Chirst Jesus"? HE says HE will and I see it played over and over throughout my life. I have seen the glory of the Lord. I have no doubt where my blessings come from. I am called to "give it all away". As Coleman and I were talking the other day, I remembered that I am instructed to give away all that I have and all that I am. He didn't bless me abundantly with "things" for my pleasure. He gave it to me and commanded me to give "it" away. If I keep it ("it" is also "myself") I'm not being obedient. So, when Todd came home in January from Uganda and said, "Amiee, we have to help them. They are suffering and we have to help them." I had no idea what that was going to look like. I really didn't. The process started with praying...God will have to do this because I cannot. I must confess that deep in my sinful heart I didn't want to do it. Joan and Derrick have transistioned beautifully but ya'll, it's hard sometimes. It takes a lot of enerygy physically but also mentally. Is it worth it? Absolutely, but these girls have significant medical needs. Their wounds are deep. I can't wait to tell their stories to you. I've decided to wait until they are able to tell them to me and ask them if I can share with you. It's their news to tell. I'm hoping that they learn enough English that they can share their stories with you when you come by my house and meet them or meet us out for dinner:) God will reveal their testimonies and I can't wait! As the process of medical visa's began, HE put one person, then another person directly in my path and everytime I asked for help, the answer was "yes". Some of the people that have helped these girls get here I have never met. In fact, most of the doctors and nurses I have not met. They have seen photos of the children and read a few brief medical documents from Kampala. They don't know who I am or who the girls are but they know who HE is and they said "yes...of course I will help." Their enthusiasm was a "need" that God knew I had. I didn't have the energy to plead with people to help suffering children. God has brought together an amazing team of servants to help these girls. Get ready! We are about to witness healing through the body of Christ! Though the grace of God, I have witnessed spiritual healing in my life. The body of Christ is alive and well. I can't wait to meet the people that have agreed to be the hands and feet of Christ to these girls. By their obedience, they have healed my spirit...They have shown me once again that "I can't do it" but "HE can" and "HE will". 

Please lift up the girls this week, especially the faithful servant that is bringing them home. She's a college student that may be feeling a little overwhelmed by the responsibility of traveling with two extra companions but, our God is already working through that. We actually have a dear friend that will be on the same flight from Amsterdam to Atlanta with her so I'm hoping he can help them get through immigration. (I'm not sure we've told him yet that they will be on the same flight:) That was the most difficult part of our trip...getting back into the United States. Pray that they don't get motion sickness on the plane. I'm not sure if they have ever even ridden in a car. If they have, it's only been once or twice, maybe when they went to the doctor back in January with Todd and Suzanne. What perfect timing God has...they will be here the first day of summer. I will post more specific medical prayer requests when the time comes for testing and surgeries. The only thing I would ask for now is pray that they test negative for HIV. Whether they have it or not they will be treated but our prayer is that we can get them as healthy as possible before surgeries begin. HIV is treatable. I covet all of your prayers. That's what we need now. Pray for hearts to be prepared as we begin what God puts in front of us today.

 Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

"...It's complicated"

"And his father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied, saying, Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people and has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David, as he spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets from of old, that we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us; to show the mercy promised to our fathers and to remember his covenant, the oath that he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness  before him all our days.  And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give knowledge of salvation to his people in the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our Go whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace"  Luke 1: 67-79

What happens when two countries 8500 miles apart try to come together for the sake of children that are abandoned and need medical care?  It's complicated.  What happens when we are one document away from having medical visa's in hand?  It's complicated.  Yesterday, was complicated.  Today has already been more complicated than yesterday.  So many things went right but we didn't get the visa's.  We did everything we could but God said, "Not yet".  To me in my small, simple mind, it's complicated.  But as God has shown me time and time and time again, HIS ways are higher.  He's got this but tonight at 2:00 a.m. our time and 10:00 a.m. Uganda time it's complicated and I am tired.  I've lost track of the days and nights between Uganda and the US.  We are waiting on one document, one man, one travel companion and 2 visa's  so the girls can come to the US.  This really isn't that much but in Uganda, this one document could arrive within the next 5 minutes or the next 5 weeks.  You just never know.  Catherine and Jonathan did everything they could do to get these visa's.  We wouldn't be this close without them.  They were not able to change their flights.  Todd spent the entire afternoon trying to figure out a way that we could change their flights so they could all come home together but we just weren't able to work that out.  Our hope was that the girls would be on the plane home with them Thursday night.  Without the "one document" we could not be given the visa's.  The good news is, the girls will be granted visa's.  This document was not something listed specifically on the requirements.  It was not something that was asked for in the interview.  It was something that was asked for at the last minute.  We will get the document...no worries about that.  I'm thinking that God wants this process to touch a few more lives and I know HE will use this delay to refine my own sinful heart.  He has already brought new people into my path within the last 24 hours that I may have never known and I will use this delay for HIS glory.  The scripture above gave me so much hope as I am sitting her in my kitchen in the middle of the night asking God "why does this too have to be so complicated?"  I felt bitterness and resentment build in my heart thinking all day, "Now these children are finally going to get help and someone who has been a 5 minute boda ride from them wants to know whose been caring for them in Uganda???  Where have these people been during their suffering?  Now they want to protect them from doctors and people who will love them and care about them...Lord, I don't understand."  That was me, making this not about HIM. Those thoughts were me thinking my way was better than HIS.  That is a very good example of what me not trusting in Him and me standing up instead of kneeling down looks like....ugly!  Then God revealed the passage above to me.  "Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit..."  Lord, fill me with the Holy Spirit.  The God of Israel"for he has visited and redeemed his people and raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David...".  He's talking about me.  This is good news.  It's not complicated.  He claimed "we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us".  It's complicated because satan hates what is happening with SOZO and Rays of HOPE.  So, instead of feeling tired and weary tonight, I am going to claim that I have been saved.  Then, my favorite part, "to show the mercy promised to our fathers and to remember his covenant, the oath that he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us that we being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all our days."  I will continue to serve HIM without fear and righteousness before HIM all my days.  I will confess my sinful heart.  Jesus has already gone before me and prepared HIS way, to give knowledge of salvation to HIS people in the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."  God is shining HIS light though this.  These are HIS children and I know "HE"S got this!   It's not complicated to HIM.

Todd and I were talking today about the girls...trying to imagine if they can even begin grasp the surgical pain they are about to endure but also the different life experiences they are about to have.  S is always smiling.  Her smile is sooooo BIG.  She always looks happy.  When you see her scars, they are horrific.  There's no way to sugar coat that.  I asked Todd today, "how can she always find a reason to smile?  She is in constant pain?"  His answer, "she's alive".  With that statement, God humbled me again and I went back to the foot of the cross.  Please continue to pray for God's will to be done with these children.  I wish I could ask for more specific prayer requests tonight but that's all I think I need to ask for.  It's really not as complicated as I was making it.

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

"HIS Rays of Hope"

"having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the work of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come."  Ephesians 1:18-21

As I sit here not able to sleep, an unassuming person sitting in the American Embassy in Uganda is being prayed for by me.  I'm praying that she/he senses the presence of a MIGHTY GOD that she/he may or may not know.  I pray she/he knows HIM.  She has the choice today to send two precious fatherless children to America for much needed medical treatment.  I pray that her decision no matter what it is draws her closer to the Lord.  I pray that her heart has been touched by these children like my heart has been touched.  I pray that something comes over her that she recognizes is not herself but God.  I pray for the children that wait in anticipation of how different their tomorrow can look.  LORD, please let their tomorrow look different than their today.  Lord, you know what they need.  You are the Father of the Fatherless.  Lord, this will be another mountain but I've seen you move mountains.  I will not be surprised.  I will continue to do my best to be obedient and look for you in every situation and circumstance.

When we were in Uganda less than a year ago, I asked Joel, "who needs to come to America next?"  He named two girls that were older and have very extensive medical needs.  It is no coincidence that the school is called "Rays of Hope".  These girls are two more Rays of Hope.  They both have very different stories.  One has scars on the outside and they both have deep scars on the inside.  (Don't we all? Are they really that different from me?)  Their eyes and their smiles will melt your heart.  When Todd and Suzanne went to Uganda in January, they began the process of helping these Rays of Hope heal.  They visited specialists in Kampala and we began the process of obtaining medical visa's for these children.  I will wait until they get here to introduce you to them.  They have amazing stories of mercy and grace and I am humbled to be a part of their journey.  Please join me in praying for them to receive their visa's any moment.  Our hope is that they can leave Uganda in the morning at 9:30a.m. and arrive in Birmingham on Thursday.  Please pray for wisdom for the SOZO team as we walk beside these girls on their road to recovery.  I know what happens when you walk beside someone else expecting them to be healed... God heals the person that thinks they are helping the other person:).  I know that these girls will heal places deep inside of my heart and soul that I am not even aware that need healing.  Lord, I pray for every person reading this that our eyes and "hearts will be enlightened and that we know what the hope to which YOU have called us, what the riches of YOUR glorious inheritance in the saints and how immeasurable greatness of Your power toward us who believe, according to the work of Your great might that worked in Christ when You were raised from the dead and seated HIM at Your right hand in heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come."

I will update as soon as we hear something.  Thank you for interceding for these precious girls.   They are HIS Rays of HOPE!

To God Be the Glory, forever and ever,

Amiee :)

Friday, April 27, 2012

"Her momma must be white..."

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."  Philippians 3:12


"Beautiful Before"
I don't want to write this entry.  That's when I know I have to.  I don't know if it's because I'm prideful (I am), stubborn (I am) or fighting not let both of my feet fall into the trap of "the world"(I do).  There is no doubt that one year ago, I wasn't equipped to communicate with Joan.  I didn't know sign language but God has/is equipping me.  My prayer had been that God would heal Joan but instead, he healed me...he healed me from pride and gave me a good dose of humility through Joan's deafness.  He showed me again that I don't need to be in the business of "fixing" others but loving them where they are.  HE has met me where I am and I am so thankful.   HE never stops pursuing me.  After we resolved the "hearing issue", I believe God has given me a momentary reprisal.  He has let me catch my breath and boy did I need to catch it.  I can feel HIM preparing me for something else, maybe another race.  What else could there be after the past year "Reeves Party of Six" has had?  But, I know that God is not going to continue to let me think for long that I have it "all figured out".  He is going to continue to seek me, challenge me and forgive me when I think that "I'm doing it".  He's going to show me on the days I say to myself "I can't do this" that I'm not supposed to.  HE is.  He is going to continue to show me that I need HIM and that is all I need.  The world is going to continue to tell me that it's all about me but I know that none of this is about me...It has been during this "quiet time" in our family that I finally got motivated to do something with Joan's hair.  I have been studying a site called "Chocolate Hair/ Vanilla Care".  It is a website where white women post questions about their black children's hair.  Black women answer all of the questions and do their best to "equip" us "vanilla mom's" to care for our "chocolate children's" hair.  Ya'll, it's not easy to deal with Joan's hair.  She has the driest, tightest curls I have ever seen.  If you stretch it out, it's really much longer than it looks.  If I tease it up, within an hour its drawing back to her head.  You can't tell it's even been combed.  I have had more free advice and unsolicited comments from many, many black women.  Many have given me their personal phone numbers and all but pleaded for me to let them help.  Honestly, I have struggled with this.  The issues we have had with communication and language have trumped any worry or concern I have had about her hair.  It hasn't been a priority for me.  It's sill not.  Besides not having time to get my own hair "done", I love her hair the way it "naturally is".  I love it teased up as high as it will go with a headband that makes it look even higher.  I love how she is different.  I loved her when she was bald headed with a few ring worms.  I loved her when she only had one dress that was a size 18 months that she could wear when she was 7 years old because she was so, so small.  Many of the children don't have hair in Uganda.  They keep it shaved.  Her "unkept" hair is an endearing reminder to me of Uganda and how Jesus washed my feet while I was there.  By the grace of God, Joan and Derrick don't look like they are from the streets of Kabalagala any more.  They have each gained 9 pounds in 10 months.  They are both taller.  Derrick is almost as tall as Joan.   I don't want them to ever forget who God made them to be and that they were born in Uganda.  I don't want them to ever think that I came in and saved them.  God has been their Father since He brought them into this world and HE has protected them and blessed them abundantly especially when they were on the streets of Kabalagala.  Do I put them in nice clothes?  Yes.  Do I let them eat ice cream when every they want because vanilla ice cream is their favorite treat?  Yes....So why do I struggle with  getting her hair done?  I don't know.  Maybe because I have a lack of time and energy.   That's a good possibility.  Maybe sadness that my little Ugandan angle is turning a little American?  Probably.  I really don't know if I do a good job as a mom teaching my children to serve others as much as I serve my children.  That makes them my idol.  That is my sin.  I'm seeking Lord.  I'm praying for God to show me.  He will but right now, He's letting me breath.  I am thankful.  So, after one of the "chocolate ladies" at Joan's school said, "Her momma must be white" referring to Joan's "natural African" hair, I caved and went to one of the many places recommended to me and I had her hair "done".
"Smiling through the pain"

She was so excited.  It took about two hours which really isn't long.  I'm sure as it continues to get longer, it will take longer to "fix" her hair.  It had to hurt the way the lady pulled on it but Joan endured the pain...Beauty can sometimes be painful.  As soon as Derrick saw her he said, "Momma, who did that to her?"  I told him.  I said, "Do you like it?"  He said, "No.  She doesn't look like Joanie."  I agree with him.  She looks different.  She looks older.  I didn't adopt these children to make them different.  I adopted them because God grew them in my heart years before they came to live with us.  This was HIS plan from the beginning.  The children of Uganda have a special place in my heart.  Maybe I've mentioned that one or twice. :)  Today, I got to talk to all of the boys in SOZO's third house and Joel.  They warmed my heart!  They are 14 and 15 years old.  All they wanted to know was "When are you coming to Uganda?".  They are the future of Uganda.  Please keep them in your prayers.  Pray that they desire to know the Lord and HIS will for their lives.  Pray that they follow Jesus and that they look for HIM wherever they are.  Pray for them like you pray for your children.  That is what "loving your neighbor" is.  Listen to where He calls you and obey.  I am called not to let them forget and I won't.  God is teaching me how to train them up the way HE wants.  It's different than the way I raised Laurel and Coleman but the love is the same and just as great.    My chocolate babies momma is very white.  She was right.  I can't dance.  I burn before I tan.  I do love Mow Town and Joan and I watched The Temptations and Smoky Robinson the other night and we both loved it.  They move in sync when they dance so she can "see" the rhythm.  I don't know what we will do with the hair going forward.  I pray everyday that I only live one day at a time.  Thinking much further ahead than that is my pride because there are no guarantees about tomorrow.  Her new "do" is cute and it has grown on me.  She isn't in Uganda anymore and neither am I.  I know that I am not perfect but I pray God will give me the strength to press on and take hold of what Jesus puts in front of me and that HE will continue to keep me in HIS grip!
"Same Joanie, new do"

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)



Wednesday, April 18, 2012

"Won't you be my neighbor..."

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it:  Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-38



Today is Easter Sunday.  I have so much to share about our "first" Easter as a family but something has been heavy on my heart for about a week.  Let me start by saying when I write this blog, I usually don't know where it's going to end up.  I have found if I'm inhibited to write something, that's a sure way to identify that satan is trying to hide the light that is for God's glory.  If it takes me longer than 15 minutes, I start over thinking it...trying to "fix" it and that's not where God wants me any more..."fixing" what HE intends to use for HIS glory.  In the past, when  someone or something made me feel uncomfortable, I had several ways of dealing with the person or the situation.  I avoided or ignored the situation or the person.  Or one of my most self destructive tendencies was to internalize this and go overboard "trying to fix it".  This was a major form of pride in my life.  Here are a few lines of Beth Moore's poem "My Name is Pride" that completely describe me..."My name is Pride. I am a cheater.  I cheat you of your God - given destiny...because you demand your own way.  I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."  I cheat you of healing...because you are to full of you to forgive.  I cheat you of holiness..because you refuse to admit when you are wrong.  I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.  I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.  I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.  I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.  I cheat you of God's glory...because I convinced you to seek your own.  My name is Pride.  I am a cheater.  You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.  Untrue.  I'm looking to make a fool of you.  God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...If you stick with me you'll never know."   Okay, my pride thought I only identified with a line or two but as I was typing, God showed me again that I'm soooo prideful so thank you Beth Moore for sharing this poem with me.  I think you must have met be before.

I have been very fortunate in the area of the globe where live, people have been very receptive to our adoption.  I have experienced something recently that has perplexed me.  I don't want to go into who has offended me and please don't ask me.  I will be inclined to gossip and I'm trying to overcome my sinful tongue.  My tendency when I am moved out of my comfort zone in a relationship is to avoid the person or the situation because "I want my own way, I deserve better, and I don't want to wash this person's feet!"  As Beth Moore has so beautifully reminded me, this is pride and it's very familiar to me.  I have been examining over the past week what my "sin", "character defect" or "my part" may be in this situation.  God has directed me to the scripture above specifically the second verse, "love your neighbor as yourself".   When I was in the uncomfortable situation, I wanted to shout this to the instigator of my anger.  I wanted to shake them and say, "these people" are your neighbor.  Then, because of the loving spirit of a friend that I shared with gently reminded me, "be the vessel, not the messenger".  Even though I didn't like the comment that was made to me, God can and will still use me to sharpen them and HE has definitely used them to sharpen me.  My anger was the first sign that I was prideful.  I was focused on how I could manipulate the situation.  I wanted to be "right".  The comment was very painful to me because "these people" are now my children, family, and they are part of the body of Christ and they need their neighbors to "love them".  Do they live in my zip code?  No.  Do they have the same color of skin as me?  No.  Do they speak the same language as me?  No.  Are they my neighbor?  YES.  God commands me to love them.  It's not optional.  It's not when it's convenient for me.  It has to be like breathing or I am missing what God has told me.  Well friend that offended me, I am confessing my pride to God because I judged you and I didn't love you well.  That is not how God intends to use my witness.   Because God commands me to love my neighbor as myself, I will pray that through the situation that God will be bringing your way, you can come to know your neighbor.  I didn't "know" my neighbor for 42 years.  I thought I did but I really didn't and I also didn't have the desire to know them.   God has greatly changed my heart and I am thankful.  I pray that I will not sit in judgement of your words because that is MY pride, my sin,  my character defect.  I will love you well.  I will not be tempted to control this situation because in the end, God will be glorified.  That's all that matters.



Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest let me tell you we had a wonderful Easter!  We had a low key beautiful day!  The kids, all four of them loved looking for the Easter Eggs.  Derrick actually found more than Joan.  Laurel and Colman, well they had fun too!  God has so blessed my life with my family.  I love how my children love each other.  It's beautiful to watch how they have blended as siblings.  They look out for each other and love each other well.  We are trying to explain the resurrection to Joan because she has asked to be baptized but she is having trouble understanding "the blood" of Jesus.  As we get more language, I know she will begin to understand better that HE gave his life for us so that we can live with HIM forever.  What good news that really is in my life!

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)

Monday, March 26, 2012

"This is the way; walk in it!"

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."  Isaiah 30:21
Whistler, Canada 2012




I love this scripture.  It's so true.  I have seen evidence throughout my entire life that no matter which way I turn, God is showing me the way and all HE asks of me is to "walk in it".  I'm trying Lord.  I'm really trying.  We took the family to Canada for Spring Break.  We had this idea last fall.  We thought, we all have passports.  It's closer than Uganda.  No problem.  The only other time we've been out of the country is to go to Africa.  We'll let me say it was a fantastic trip but I hope we never work with Priceline again!  I think it snowed about 30 inches while we were there.  The kids loved it!  They had never seen mountains or snow so we killed two birds with one stone.  The website for the ski resort we went to led me to believe they would have an ASL instructor for Joan and that's what I thought I had booked for her.  Evidently, the instructor quit.  Note to self:  other countries are not required to provide an ASL interpreter for Joan.   So maybe I turned left on this one when God may have said "turn right" but I still heard HIM say, "trust me and I will use this for my glory" and HE did.  I had explained to manager that I had a deaf child but they had not met Joan and Derrick.  There seem to be some question that I was undercharged.  This is never a pleasant experience to think that it could be "even more".  I was tired from the long trip there.  But I trusted God to work it all out and boy did HE.  I spent the first 1/2 day on the mountain with the children.  I wanted to make sure everyone felt comfortable with communication, especially Joan.  Don't think for one second if she didn't like the conditions she was in she would find a way to tell me about it.  That girl will let me know.  Remember, she has no filter and God blessed her with an amazing mind.  She knows what she knows. (Reminds me of a couple of other family members).  Anyway, all was well and the ladies couldn't have been any nicer.  They had J and D on the "magic carpet" within 30 minutes of the lesson starting and off they went down the "mountain".  They were skiing.  No one cried or complained.  They both did great and continued to improve throughout the week and by the last day, they were skiing down the mountain with our group.

"Ready to go down Blackcomb Mountain"


Through some of the conversations I had with the instructors, I could tell there was some information that may be important for them to know about Joan and Derrick's past but what was really happening was God was once again reminding me about who they are...They are HIS and HE is sharing them with me.  This time last year, they were sleeping on "little beds of trash" Derrick told me.  They were eating porridge.  Have you seen porridge?  It looks like glue and that's what they survived on as far as I can tell.  Less than 8 months ago, they were living in the slums of Kabalagala with no running water, much less hot water.  Derrick told us recently that Joan was hit by a truck.  The truck was honking at her and she didn't hear it so "he just ran over her".  Derrick says he watched it happen and she had blood all over her leg.  I will never know everything they have been through but I believe they know God and they are taught at Rays of Hope to listen to God and they are taught to "walk in it".  Thank you JOEL for teaching these children that give me HOPE daily to "walk in it".  They may eat porridge for breakfast but they are getting meat and potatoes for the SOUL from Rays of HOPE and SOZO.  I pray that more and more people get the burning desire to take a SOZO mission trip and go to Uganda and meet these amazing people that pour their lives out to these children only for the glory of God.  I have said this before, adopting J and D have blessed my life so much more than my pride every let me realize that they could.  OH God is so good!

"Tubing was great!"
"Riding the Gondola"
"Olympic Park"
"Hot tubing"

So many times in my life I have tried to "walk around" what God has wanted me to "walk in".  I have been reliant on myself, prideful, judgmental and  I have lived in fear.  I didn't really know who God was.  I saw the biggest mountains I have ever seen with my eyes last week in Canada yet my eyes were open in Uganda to see the mountains that God moved.  I "walked in it" and saw God's love for me through the suffering eyes of children that know HIM well.  My life of entitlement came to a screeching halt on June 25, 2011.

I was the back of the pack on the slopes this year.  Laurel, Coleman and Todd waited patiently for me at the bottom of each run.  Derrick skis with no control and goes straight down the hill giggling the entire way.  They told me Joan could probably ski almost any "blue run" with no problem.  She and I had a race.  I was going to let her win but she turned around and stuck her tongue out at me so I had to beat her.  I love her to much to "let" her win.  I only have a couple of years at best to beat her anyway.  This was a great trip with great friends!  God equipped us for every event.  Laurel and Coleman were Joan and Derrick's ages when they began to ski 7 years ago.  I feel like I blinked my eyes and now they are taller than me.  I'm sure part of the reason God chose our family for Joan and Derrick is because they are the greatest brother and sister to each other but also to J and D.  I don't have to ask them for help. It's just what they do...who they are.  Todd, I love you with all of my heart.  You are the leader of our crazy little family.  You are my best friend!  Thank you for a fantastic trip.  I'm thankful my  family could be a reality t.v. show.  I don't want to "blend in" anymore.  If I start to blend in, put me on a plane to SOZO right away.  If I'm blending in, I'm "walking around it" not "through it".  I'm not listening to the voice behind me that is my Savior.  HE never stops pursuing me.  HE never gives up on me.  HE will always carry me.  To God be the glory!

"The love of my life!"


In HIS grip,
Amiee :)


Friday, March 9, 2012

"Spread Thin: Less of me, More of HIM!"

"I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."  Galatians 2:20

I have clung to this verse this week.  We had a lengthy appointment at IAC (International Adoption Clinic) on Monday.  The kids are healthy.  We had more blood work to prove it.  They were both very brave and I didn't cry this time.  We had lengthy discussions about D.  The bottom line is he's just not as old as his "paperwork" says he is.  Unfortunately for him, he is here post 911 and immigration does not mess around with paperwork that doesn't match up.  The laws changed September of 2011.  Legally he is almost seven years old.  Developmentally, socially, physically he is four years old.  They have diagnosed him with PTS (Post Traumatic Stress) disorder.  So, I'm praying for God to just lay out for me what HE wants me to do with Derrick as far as school is concerned.  I know he's not ready for school.  He's beginning to process that he is safe.  He's beginning to process what it's like to be part of a family that doesn't want to "throw him away".  I see glimpses of security but I also still see a lot of fear.  God is healing him but along the way, he is realizing now what he didn't have in Uganda.  I don't think he realized how bad he had it before until now.  He didn't know there was "greener grass".   I don't really know how but I know God did protect these children, HIS children.

Coleman and Laurel may be two of the most "selfless" children I have ever had the privilege of knowing.  They help me so much.  They are responsible and kind.  They don't usually complain and if they do, I probably need to listen better.  Coleman is taking some time off from extra curricular activities and it is great seeing him more.  He plays basketball with the "twins" (that is what we call them because so many times they remind us of twins).  He dishes out more than Joan can take sometimes and I love to see that.  Laurel is thick into tennis now and I don't think it will be much longer before Joan is getting her racquet and going with Laurel.  Joan's eyes can see as quick as our ears can hear.  It's really is amazing.
Joanie...Joanie...that girl made my hair grey this week.  I'm not going to go into the "gory details" of "the incident" but she is something!  She must have had a flashback because she "went African" on her best friend at school.  There is no doubt that God hand picked this little friend for Joan because she is a tiny little angel and her heart is bigger than she is.  After two days of working with two different interpreters, the "incident" was resolved and grace was given.  What  ASL signs did Joan learn this week?  Anger, depressed, confused, guilty, frustrated, just a few of the emotions she experienced recently.  Now we are learning how to tell others when we feel these emotions.  It's a beautiful thing really.  We all express ourselves differently.  One of the things I admire about Joan is she is not afraid or inhibited to express herself.  Her body language and facial expressions do not lie.  She has no filter.  As I have continued on my crash course of deaf education, I'm learning that things that I thought were important for her to know are no longer important to me.  For example, her teacher asked me how I felt about her learning the "Pledge of Allegiance".  I said I'd rather take the time to teach her the 23rd Psalm.  Do I want her to participate in the "boosterthon"?  I'd rather her learn to express herself in an appropriate way so that I don't have to worry about her getting sent home from school early in the future.  This is why the scripture above is so important to me.  I am not in control of any of this.  I have surrendered it to Christ who lives in me.  I don't have to figure it all out.  HE will and has shown me the way.  I am forced by these circumstances (having 4 children all with special needs going in all different directions) to live one day at a time.  That is right where HE wants me.  I really believe when I'm not spread so thin, I get complacent, lazy and self righteous.  I start believing that I "deserve" a good life.  I tell myself I  "deserve" all of the blessings that God has given me.  My good life can be a trap for me to think I was entitled to the life HE has given.  I forget to consider the price that was paid for my "good life".  I was prideful to many times thinking to myself, "I deserve better".  I have confessed this to God and HE has forgiven me.  Anything "good" that comes from my life is only from Christ that lives in me.  God sent HIS son to die for me so that I can live forever with HIM.  I will stumble and I will fail and God will still be there to carry me forgive me and love me.  At this point in my life, I am only able to live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)