"Yes, Jesus loves me"

I have needed an attitude adjustment since Spring Break.  I have been focused on me instead of "HIM".  The sin of control has crept up on me.  I began thinking "I" have been making progress with this adoption process when the truth is, I am powerless. I was humble and I have once again become prideful.  It is when I am weak that He is strong.  When I think I'm strong, my knees are not at the foot of the cross.  When I don't prayerfully consider my activities in my day, I will stumble.  Not, I might stumble.  I will stumble.  God is doing amazing things in my life right now.  I am just the vessel, not the messenger.  I'm so excited about what may be happening soon that I am missing opportunities to witness for Jesus Christ today.  I am praying that my focus is back where it needs to be and that I will stay out of God's way so that he can do His will.  My children in Africa have birth certificates.  They are healthy.  They are eating.  They are loved.  They are not really my children.  They are God's children and He is watching over them.  He is providing for them.  It doesn't matter what I do right or what I do wrong, He is their Father and He is my Father.  Oh, I so can't wait to love these children with my arms.  I can't wait to be a family of 6.  But we already are a family.  We are the family of Christ.  God has provided Joel and countless others that love our family.  Lord, help me to be the vessel, not the messenger and help me to stay at the foot of Your cross.

In Him,

Amiee

"It's all good and it's all GOD!"

Psalm 136:1"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.  His love endures forever."

Last week was Spring Break.  We went to Steamboat, Colorado with the Youngbloods and we had a great time.  We got 30 inches of snow while we were there.  It was great to get away from the hustle and bustle of Birmingham.  Coleman and Laurel took snowboarding lessons and they did great.  We had no injuries, thank the Lord.  The condo we stayed in was beautiful!  The fellowship was great and yes we skyped Africa about 4 times while we were there.  I day dreamed about how next Spring Break could be.  If the good Lord is willing, we will need room for two more.  I picked out a ski jacket for D but his friend, Turner, said he would not want to wear the one I had chosen for him.  I guess I will wait on making that purchase until the children get here.  Turner was probably right.  Suzanne and a group of people went to Kampala to visit the Sozo kids and Suzanne, Jon and Joel were kind enough to include J and D to spend most of the week with them.  Suzanne said Derrick was quiet the first day.  Joel has always said, "Derrick is a quiet guy".  But, after one day he livend up and wouldn't stop talking.  Some of my high lights from skyping was teaching them their names and our names in sign language.  They were glued to the computer and did everything I did.  It was great to see how attentive they were and how fast they picked it up.  On one of the skype's, Derrick started saying, "moma, moma, moma" and pointing at me.  The next time we skyped, he was saying, "I love you moma, I love you daddy, I love you Laurel, and I love you baby".  For some reason, he calls Coleman baby.  Joan signed to me "Mom, I am going to sleep with you."  Yes, I cried through most of the conversations because they are beginning to communicate with us.  I'm not sure they understand when we are coming but they know we are coming to get them and they no we love them.  I hope that one day when Joan learns more sign language she can tell us what she was thinking during this time of waiting.  Words cannot describe how sad I was that Suzanne and her group were having to come back to the US.  I loved knowing that for that week, they were fed, they were clothed, they were warm and they were loved.  The day Suzanne was coming home, my computer started ringing at 3:15a.m. which would have been 1:00p.m. in Africa.  I jumped out of bed and answered it.  Joan was sitting in Suzanne's lap and she looked sad.  I know she knew they were leaving.  It broke my heart.  She sat with her head under Suzanne's chin and hardly moved.  The little girl that was making her new dress spin and dancing to the angel's singing was sad.  Through all of the poverty, sickness and suffering she has witnessed, what made her sad was that Suzanne's loving arms were leaving her and she knew it.  Thank the Lord for Joel.  He is many of those children's "constant".  Right now, he is my hands and feet of Christ.  He is getting some of the paperwork completed for me.  He brought J and D's dad to Sozo one day and we got to meet him.  Their dad doesn't speak English so Joel had to translate.  All I can say is once again God was faithful.  He wanted me to know that he would help in any way he could and that I didn't need to be scared that he wasn't going to change his mind.  He praised God that we wanted to take his children.  Oh my goodness!  What do you say to that? He blew me kisses and I cried.  I can't wait to meet him.  Did I tell you he has a hearing problem too but he could hear some because Joel would scream some things in his ear.  J looks just like her dad.  It was amazing.  I am praying that God is going to move each person that comes in contact with J and D or that reads this blog to become the hands and feet of Christ for the children in Africa.  God is not going to stop with just J and D.  There is hope to build a school that would house the rest of the 298 children at Rays of Hope with the 17 children of the Sozo orphanage.  I am really having a hard time living one day at a time.  From what little I know about international adoption, nothing is happening the way things "normally" happen but it is all good and it is all GOD.  Please pray for our family to continue to focus on God and not on ourselves.  Pray that we serve Him well and that he shows favor on our paperwork as it is beginning to be received in Uganda.  Pray for J and D to feel the love of Christ while they are waiting and while they are trying to comprehend all of the changes they are about to be going through.  God has already blessed us beyond anything I could ever imagine!

In His Grip,
Amiee

"Mustard Seed Faith"

Matthew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith.  I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard see, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there' and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you."

It's been a while since I've updated the blog.  Several things have happened that I can only attribute to our Heavenly Father.  I am finding that adopting and being pregnant have a lot in common.  One thing for me is the emotional roller coaster that I am on at times.  As the conflict in Libya and Egypt have escalated, so has my anxiety of getting these children as soon as possible.  Our home study went great.  Our finger prints in the big scheme of "finger prints" went really well.  But a couple of weeks ago, I realized that our CAAN report hadn't come back.  I sent them in on January 21 and they should have come back within 3 to 4 weeks.  Our social worker told me that it's very unusual that the CAAN report doesn't come back before the finger prints.  She offered to call DHR for us to see what was going on.  Leslie talks with a lady, the only lady, that processes CAAN reports and gets some concerning news.  The lady at DHR says that because of budget cuts and lay offs she is the only one working on processing these reports and she is just now on processing reports that were received on December 26th, 2010.  Mine was sent in January 21, 2011.  She was nice enough to tell Leslie she would go through her stack of reports and make sure she received ours but there was really nothing she could do because she has to process them by the date they are received. Leslie kept reassuring me that she was a really nice lady and she promised to call Leslie back by the end of the day.  I started to pray, "Lord, what can I do now?"  I called Leslie back and said I need the name and number of the lady because if I have to drive to Montgomery and beg her to process this paperwork I will.  Thank the Lord for my faithful, God fearing, social worker.  She said, "let's give her until the end of the day to get back with me."  She "talked me of the ledge" and I agreed with her to wait.  I began to pray without ceasing for God some how to work out this problem.  I know He has handled much bigger problems than this.  Within the hour, not the end of the day, but within the hour Leslie called me back and said, "Are you sitting down?".  She said the lady just called her back.  She found our paperwork, approved it and even emailed Leslie a confirmation number which Leslie said is unheard of.  Leslie said stuff like this never happens.  She said the only way she can explain that the lady was able to get this done was because it was a "God thing".  I am almost in tears just typing that and this happened about 2 weeks ago.  God is faithful and I realize that even though my faith is growing, I have a long way to go.

The week before the CAAN incident something else amazing happened. I have been curious about the age of Joan and Derrick.  It doesn't matter to me how old they are but as a mom, I want to know when God put them on this earth.  There are no birth records of these children.  I don't think they are born in hospitals.  The moms have no rights to their children.  Many times they are raised by their grandmother's.   This culture is so different from what I know and I find it very interesting and it has challenged me to think about my culture.  I know that so much of who I am is because of my grandparents.  I was so blessed to have the most wonderful grandparents on the face of this earth.  I have so many happy memories of spending time with them.  My mom's mom, Nana, kept me and my sister, it seems like almost every day of my life. She did the most special things with us, especially when were sick.  One summer when I was about 14 years old, she and I went to Houston to visit my Aunt and her family.  Nana let me drive for several hours of the trip in her Mustang.  We had a great time!  I have many happy memories with Nana and I miss her greatly.  I had decided that if I had the opportunity to choose birth dates for Joan and Derrick I wanted to give one of them Nana's birthday.  I was still in the process of praying about this.  I had mentioned it to Todd and he said that would be fine with him.  Leslie, our social worker, sent me an email and asked me to find out if anyone knew their birth dates and last names.  I sent the request to Joel.  He shortly sent me their birth dates and their last names.  Joan's birth date is August 7, 2003 and Derrick's birth date is July 9, 2005.  July 9th is my Nana's birthday.  God is so faithful!

In Him,

Amiee