"This is the way; walk in it!"

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."  Isaiah 30:21

Whistler, Canada 2012

I love this scripture.  It's so true.  I have seen evidence throughout my entire life that no matter which way I turn, God is showing me the way and all HE asks of me is to "walk in it".  I'm trying Lord.  I'm really trying.  We took the family to Canada for Spring Break.  We had this idea last fall.  We thought, we all have passports.  It's closer than Uganda.  No problem.  The only other time we've been out of the country is to go to Africa.  We'll let me say it was a fantastic trip but I hope we never work with Priceline again!  I think it snowed about 30 inches while we were there.  The kids loved it!  They had never seen mountains or snow so we killed two birds with one stone.  The website for the ski resort we went to led me to believe they would have an ASL instructor for Joan and that's what I thought I had booked for her.  Evidently, the instructor quit.  Note to self:  other countries are not required to provide an ASL interpreter for Joan.   So maybe I turned left on this one when God may have said "turn right" but I still heard HIM say, "trust me and I will use this for my glory" and HE did.  I had explained to manager that I had a deaf child but they had not met Joan and Derrick.  There seem to be some question that I was undercharged.  This is never a pleasant experience to think that it could be "even more".  I was tired from the long trip there.  But I trusted God to work it all out and boy did HE.  I spent the first 1/2 day on the mountain with the children.  I wanted to make sure everyone felt comfortable with communication, especially Joan.  Don't think for one second if she didn't like the conditions she was in she would find a way to tell me about it.  That girl will let me know.  Remember, she has no filter and God blessed her with an amazing mind.  She knows what she knows. (Reminds me of a couple of other family members).  Anyway, all was well and the ladies couldn't have been any nicer.  They had J and D on the "magic carpet" within 30 minutes of the lesson starting and off they went down the "mountain".  They were skiing.  No one cried or complained.  They both did great and continued to improve throughout the week and by the last day, they were skiing down the mountain with our group.

"Ready to go down Blackcomb Mountain"

Through some of the conversations I had with the instructors, I could tell there was some information that may be important for them to know about Joan and Derrick's past but what was really happening was God was once again reminding me about who they are...They are HIS and HE is sharing them with me.  This time last year, they were sleeping on "little beds of trash" Derrick told me.  They were eating porridge.  Have you seen porridge?  It looks like glue and that's what they survived on as far as I can tell.  Less than 8 months ago, they were living in the slums of Kabalagala with no running water, much less hot water.  Derrick told us recently that Joan was hit by a truck.  The truck was honking at her and she didn't hear it so "he just ran over her".  Derrick says he watched it happen and she had blood all over her leg.  I will never know everything they have been through but I believe they know God and they are taught at Rays of Hope to listen to God and they are taught to "walk in it".  Thank you JOEL for teaching these children that give me HOPE daily to "walk in it".  They may eat porridge for breakfast but they are getting meat and potatoes for the SOUL from Rays of HOPE and SOZO.  I pray that more and more people get the burning desire to take a SOZO mission trip and go to Uganda and meet these amazing people that pour their lives out to these children only for the glory of God.  I have said this before, adopting J and D have blessed my life so much more than my pride every let me realize that they could.  OH God is so good!

"Tubing was great!"

"Riding the Gondola"

"Olympic Park"

"Hot tubing"

So many times in my life I have tried to "walk around" what God has wanted me to "walk in".  I have been reliant on myself, prideful, judgmental and  I have lived in fear.  I didn't really know who God was.  I saw the biggest mountains I have ever seen with my eyes last week in Canada yet my eyes were open in Uganda to see the mountains that God moved.  I "walked in it" and saw God's love for me through the suffering eyes of children that know HIM well.  My life of entitlement came to a screeching halt on June 25, 2011.

I was the back of the pack on the slopes this year.  Laurel, Coleman and Todd waited patiently for me at the bottom of each run.  Derrick skis with no control and goes straight down the hill giggling the entire way.  They told me Joan could probably ski almost any "blue run" with no problem.  She and I had a race.  I was going to let her win but she turned around and stuck her tongue out at me so I had to beat her.  I love her to much to "let" her win.  I only have a couple of years at best to beat her anyway.  This was a great trip with great friends!  God equipped us for every event.  Laurel and Coleman were Joan and Derrick's ages when they began to ski 7 years ago.  I feel like I blinked my eyes and now they are taller than me.  I'm sure part of the reason God chose our family for Joan and Derrick is because they are the greatest brother and sister to each other but also to J and D.  I don't have to ask them for help. It's just what they do...who they are.  Todd, I love you with all of my heart.  You are the leader of our crazy little family.  You are my best friend!  Thank you for a fantastic trip.  I'm thankful my  family could be a reality t.v. show.  I don't want to "blend in" anymore.  If I start to blend in, put me on a plane to SOZO right away.  If I'm blending in, I'm "walking around it" not "through it".  I'm not listening to the voice behind me that is my Savior.  HE never stops pursuing me.  HE never gives up on me.  HE will always carry me.  To God be the glory!

"The love of my life!"

In HIS grip,

Amiee :)

"Spread Thin: Less of me, More of HIM!"

"I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."  Galatians 2:20

I have clung to this verse this week.  We had a lengthy appointment at IAC (International Adoption Clinic) on Monday.  The kids are healthy.  We had more blood work to prove it.  They were both very brave and I didn't cry this time.  We had lengthy discussions about D.  The bottom line is he's just not as old as his "paperwork" says he is.  Unfortunately for him, he is here post 911 and immigration does not mess around with paperwork that doesn't match up.  The laws changed September of 2011.  Legally he is almost seven years old.  Developmentally, socially, physically he is four years old.  They have diagnosed him with PTS (Post Traumatic Stress) disorder.  So, I'm praying for God to just lay out for me what HE wants me to do with Derrick as far as school is concerned.  I know he's not ready for school.  He's beginning to process that he is safe.  He's beginning to process what it's like to be part of a family that doesn't want to "throw him away".  I see glimpses of security but I also still see a lot of fear.  God is healing him but along the way, he is realizing now what he didn't have in Uganda.  I don't think he realized how bad he had it before until now.  He didn't know there was "greener grass".   I don't really know how but I know God did protect these children, HIS children.

Coleman and Laurel may be two of the most "selfless" children I have ever had the privilege of knowing.  They help me so much.  They are responsible and kind.  They don't usually complain and if they do, I probably need to listen better.  Coleman is taking some time off from extra curricular activities and it is great seeing him more.  He plays basketball with the "twins" (that is what we call them because so many times they remind us of twins).  He dishes out more than Joan can take sometimes and I love to see that.  Laurel is thick into tennis now and I don't think it will be much longer before Joan is getting her racquet and going with Laurel.  Joan's eyes can see as quick as our ears can hear.  It's really is amazing.
Joanie...Joanie...that girl made my hair grey this week.  I'm not going to go into the "gory details" of "the incident" but she is something!  She must have had a flashback because she "went African" on her best friend at school.  There is no doubt that God hand picked this little friend for Joan because she is a tiny little angel and her heart is bigger than she is.  After two days of working with two different interpreters, the "incident" was resolved and grace was given.  What  ASL signs did Joan learn this week?  Anger, depressed, confused, guilty, frustrated, just a few of the emotions she experienced recently.  Now we are learning how to tell others when we feel these emotions.  It's a beautiful thing really.  We all express ourselves differently.  One of the things I admire about Joan is she is not afraid or inhibited to express herself.  Her body language and facial expressions do not lie.  She has no filter.  As I have continued on my crash course of deaf education, I'm learning that things that I thought were important for her to know are no longer important to me.  For example, her teacher asked me how I felt about her learning the "Pledge of Allegiance".  I said I'd rather take the time to teach her the 23rd Psalm.  Do I want her to participate in the "boosterthon"?  I'd rather her learn to express herself in an appropriate way so that I don't have to worry about her getting sent home from school early in the future.  This is why the scripture above is so important to me.  I am not in control of any of this.  I have surrendered it to Christ who lives in me.  I don't have to figure it all out.  HE will and has shown me the way.  I am forced by these circumstances (having 4 children all with special needs going in all different directions) to live one day at a time.  That is right where HE wants me.  I really believe when I'm not spread so thin, I get complacent, lazy and self righteous.  I start believing that I "deserve" a good life.  I tell myself I  "deserve" all of the blessings that God has given me.  My good life can be a trap for me to think I was entitled to the life HE has given.  I forget to consider the price that was paid for my "good life".  I was prideful to many times thinking to myself, "I deserve better".  I have confessed this to God and HE has forgiven me.  Anything "good" that comes from my life is only from Christ that lives in me.  God sent HIS son to die for me so that I can live forever with HIM.  I will stumble and I will fail and God will still be there to carry me forgive me and love me.  At this point in my life, I am only able to live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,

Amiee :)