"Surrender is a Beautiful Thing"

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anoited me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted to proclaim freedom for the captives and relase from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor..." Psalm 61:1

We'll we have decided to go to Uganda with no expectations of getting a court date.  We are all very excited to meet Joan and Derrick but also to see for ourselves the beauty of a place that seems to me to be so conflicted.  I have been packed for at least a month.  We have 12 suit cases, three for each of us.  One suit case has cloths for Joan and Derrick.  They have monogrammed back packs with a few books, colors cars and a doll.  We have a 2 suit cases that have sheets, quilts, mattress pads, wash rags and towels.  Everything I am packing seems so insignificant to me.  I don't care as much anymore about where I sleep.  I still care a little about what I eat because my stomach isn't as tough as it used to be.  I'm taking a lot of medicine because I don't want to waist one day in Africa with sickness.  I want to soak up everything God wants to show me.  We have collected enough money to build the desks, fix the steps and resurface the floors.  We may even have enough to get material for new uniforms that the children desperately need.  I have never seen Joan or Derrick wear their uniform but Suzanne says they have one.  I really hope I get to bring Joan's uniform home.  The uniform is what sets them apart.  The uniform is an outward representation of who their God is because Rays of Hope is a Christian school.  Maybe we can provide a start to new uniforms.  Maybe I will get there and God will reveal to me, "that's not important".  Surrender is a beautiful thing.  I really don't have to plan anything while I'm there.  God is going to reveal His plans to me in His perfect timing.  I'm not even dreading the flight.  I'm going to soak up every moment the whole way there.  Laurel and Coleman are so excited.  Coleman asked me last night to help him finish up his testimony.  He hasn't shared it with me.  We have been talking about time lines and stuff like that.  I know God is going to use Laurel and Coleman in a mighty way with the other children at Rays of Hope.  Coleman asked me if he would be the youngest person to go to Rays of Hope. I told him he was the youngest one that I knew of.  I have no expectations of our trip.  I have no expectations of others.  I will allow God to use whatever happens for His glory.  He already has.  This is about so much more than adopting Joan and Derrick.  It's about letting the hope that is available to each of us be known to the forgotten.  It's about letting them know they are worth it.  It's about Him!  Not anything more.  Not anything less.  IT's ALL about HIM!  Lord, please don't let me get there and focus on anything or anyone else.  I pray that we go there and let them know His blood was shed for them.  Their debt has been paid.  They are loved.  They are God's chosen children.  He sent His son to die for them.  Lord, help me to be the vessel, not the messenger.  Lord, thank you for my husband who is amazing!  Thank you that he gives of himself without expecting anything in return.  Thank you that he is leading us on this journey.  Thank you that he walked through this door without any expectations.  Thank you for how he loves us!

Blessings,

Amiee :)

"Suffering"

"If you can help your neighbor now, don't say, "Come back tomorrow, and then I'll help you."  Proverbs 3:28

Today is June the 7th, 2011.  The last mail I had from Alice said that we would have a court date "early June".  I guess we have until the 14th or 15th to still be in early June.  I am struggling with waiting.  There, I have confessed that my faith is weak.  I confess that I am worrying about "when".  I am worrying about Joan and Derrick's safety and basic needs.  I am a mother.  Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?  The word of God never says it's okay to worry.  In fact, God's word over and over commands us to "cast our worries and our fears upon Him."  He reminds me over and over through His word that "when I am weak, he is strong."  I am sitting here telling you right now I am worrying.  Todd and I are debating if we should go ahead and go to Uganda.  We could be waiting for months for a court date.  My friends who heard my cry the other day on the other side of the world, called us together and prayed with me and cried out to our loving, mighty, God on my behalf.  I cannot describe the calmness that I had when we were praying.  Laurel and Coleman, Lauren and Joel and I prayed over skype.  It must have been late over there because I was surprised when I got the call in the middle of the afternoon here.  Here's where I am struggling...I know that the children at Rays of Hope are suffering.  I know that the girls are being raped.  I know witch craft and voodoo are common practices in Kabalagala.  I know that the children are so hungry that they will do things that they shouldn't do just to survive.  It is heart breaking and I don't want to believe how bad it is over there.  I want it to look like poverty but convenience myself that it's all the children really know so it's okay.  I have lived my life waiting for other people to save the homeless, the lost and the forgotten.  Now, the Lord has my attention.  He has carved a place in my heart so big for these people that ask for so little.  I am struggling.  One day Joan will ask why God chose them and not Fiona or another child.  Joan will ask.  I can look in her eyes and see that she will go back to Kabalagala and witness to her brothers and sisters how and why God choose her.  I am determined to never let Derrick and Joan forget where they came from because I don't need to forget either.  I will teach them to give back the gifts that God gives them because I need to remember to give away the gifts that God gives me.  I am worried they are suffering because their father and their grandmother don't understand why "Momma Amiee" hasn't come for them yet.  I am worried that the witch craft and voodoo will be more than just a cut on their face or hands.  Oh, Lord, help me to completely surrender to Your will.  I know that this season of waiting is growing my faith.  The waiting is helping me to focus on You and Your plan, not my will and my plan.   "I am the Lord's servant and I am willing to accept whatever he wants. "Luke 1:38.  Lord, help me to say that verse and mean it because if I am being honest, I don't want to wait.  I want to go now.  Lord, I know that You love the children of Rays of Hope.  Help me to be obedient to You.  Help me to serve You.   Help me to trust You.  Psalm 37:7 "Surrender yourself to the Lord and wait patiently for him."  Lord, help me to surrender to You so that I will wait patiently for You.

In Him,

Amiee