"Our journey is just beginning"

1 John 2:28 "And now, little children abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming."

Tomorrow, we will have been home for one week.  It seems like we've been home for one month.  Joan and Derrick are doing great.  Laurel and Coleman are still embracing the opportunity to shepherd their little brother and sister.  I am still thankful to be home and I have so enjoyed having Todd home with us the past 4 days.  He is so good with Joan and Derrick.  Joan adores Todd.  She has so much confidence in herself that it allows her to just soak up whoever walks into the room.  She has so much to give of herself.  I have much to learn from her.  Someone asked me this week what have they liked the most...Without doubt or hesitation, I can say what they have liked the most is the relationships they have shared with people they already knew and people they have just met.  Relationships is what their treasure is.  It's not the food they are eating, it's the people that have brought the food.  It's not the tubing or the lake.  It's the people that they are tubing or swimming with.  There are no "things" that can win their hearts.  It's the relationship that they will share with whoever walks into the room.  It's the same way with the kids at SOZO.  I was so concerned about what I could take them.  All they wanted was a relationship with anyone that came into the house.  This is a beautiful concept.  Imagine what the world would be like if all we really desired was relationship with others, relationship with Christ...I can imagine it vividly right now because I spent a month in Africa.  Relationship is what the children at Rays of Hope desire, to be in a relationship with me, Laurel, Coleman, Todd...whoever comes through the gates.  If you visit there, you will feel just as special as they made me feel.  If you go to SOZO, you will feel like you have been on a vacation for the soul...you will feel the presence of Jesus in a way that you have never known.  I went there thinking that I would bless them and right away, I was humbled and I know that God blessed me by going there.  I received more than I gave at SOZO because it's God's love, not my love that sustains them.   I have mentioned before that there is so much I need to share from my time in Uganda.  I can't think about my experience there without tears welling up.  God used my time there to reveal many things to me.  Much of it was my own sin, not the sin of the people there.  When the time is right, I know God will lead me to share with you my heart.  I know I will go back to Africa.  I will have to.  As difficult as it was, it was a time in my life when I knew I needed God the most.  I abided in HIM everyday for every need I had.  He wants no less from me here in Birmingham, AL but because the "need" is less, I am likely to "shrink from him".  I have to learn to be just as dependent on HIM as I was in Uganda.  I don't want to be the same as I was before I went.  I have 2 reminders living with me now that are counting on me not to forget where they came from.  Some have said, "we have saved them". The truth is, if we will allow the Holy Spirit to lead us, "they are going to save us" because all they want is "relationships".  They haven't changed this week, I have.  Every time I watch them embrace the new relationships in their life, I remember, they know what's important.  Food is for nutrition to them.  Their relationship is not with the food.  A bed is for comfort but it's not necessary to sleep.  I'm sure as time goes on, we will spoil them but for now, I want to remember what their first priority has been...relationships.  I want to bottle their perspective and learn everything from them that God is teaching me.  I want to continue to remember that God is all I need.  He has blessed me so that I would give it all back to HIM, not for me to keep it for myself.  He wants "relationship" with me.  Okay, I am rereading this now and I am realizing that you probably really want more information about the kids than me...We are going to church today, don't know if we will make it through the entire service but we will try.  Don't sit by us if you don't want to be distracted.  Joan may end up sitting in every person's lap on our row.  Derrick will likely fall asleep.  I am going to bible study tomorrow and they will stay with Ms. Jean.  I hope I make it through the entire study without Ms. Jean needing a little assistance.  I know Joan will be in charge of the room and she will adore Ms. Jean.  Derrick is speaking less Lugandan...I hear it more often when he is really tired.  He LOVES to play with cars.  He lines them up, all 50 of them.  We put Nascar on for him Saturday morning and he was so excited.  We are not a family of Nascar but we may become fans.   The SOZO fundraiser is the weekend of August 27th.  We would love to see each of you there.  Please contact me for tickets or if you need more information.  It's going to be a special event.  Thank you for your continued prayers and love.  Our journey is just beginning.

Love to all,
Amiee

"My confession"

Psalm 143: 5-6 "I remember the days of long ago; I mediate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.  I spread out my hands to you my soul thirsts for you like a parched land."

I have been in Uganda for 27 days today.  We started this process January 16, 2011 and I was physically with Joan and Derrick in less than 6 months after the process had started.  I give that information more for myself than for you because I need to remember and give thanks for the time that this has all taken place.  God has led the way through this process.  That is the only explanation for how quickly this has happened.  When I go back and look at the miracles that have happened, I am amazed that around every corner, every piece of paper work, every person that I have come in contact with I see God.  HIS hands have carved our family into 6 instead of 4, 2 girls, 2 boys, 20 years of marriage, 2 dogs, a wonderful home, and love for each other that is the greatest gift of my life.  God has been with me through the trials and the victories.  God has blessed me beyond measure and if I didn't know that before, after 27 days in Uganda, I cannot deny how HE has shown favor over me.  All I have to do is walk outside the gates of SOZO and see a life that I cannot comprehend.  For my eyes to see some of what I've seen, it's almost as confusing to me as trying to understand the language of Luganda.  It puzzles me, overwhelms me, blesses me and confirms me that God is in control and His ways are higher than my ways.  Today, I am confessing that with all that I know in my heart about God, my flesh is still full of "self".  I should know by now that I am not in control but for some reason, I keep taking back what I have already surrendered.  So, my question to myself is, "Have I really surrendered this to God?"  Oh how I would like to talk to Mark Lacey right now!  I can identify the "ways of the world" now in this moment so easily.  My flesh still desires to be "of the world".  I still desire to be comfortable.  God is refining me and I know it so why can't I let my control go?  My friend Meg, who may be my biggest "cheerleader" had some interesting perspective for me.  She said don't feel guilty for wanting to come home that God designed me to be a caretaker and I shouldn't feel bad about wanting to come home.  She is right.  Being a caretaker is the gift that God gave me and I know that.  But yesterday, I became deflated because I was not coming home the day I had planned to come home.  I let that news be about me instead of thanking God for what He has already blessed me with.  When I came to Uganda, I came knowing that I may have to leave Joan and Derrick behind.  Our mighty God said, "no...take them with you".  The sin is that I always want one more thing and I don't stay thankful for the amazing ways God has blessed my life.  I live a week at a time instead of one day at a time.  Joel reminded me yesterday that Joan and Derrick are God's children, not mine.  That is true for all of the children of the world...even the naked, fatherless, homeless children.  HE loves them all more than I do.  HE has prepared a place for them.  My job is to let them know that HE loves them.  For me, the ways of "this world" Uganda, slums of Kabalagala, have been just as distracting as the busyness we have in America.  My cell phone and computer don't work half the time here and I'm still distracted.  The victory will not be in coming home.  The victory for me will be overcoming the distractions of this part of the world.  The victory will be sharing the love of Christ to the people that God puts in my path today.  I have to remember to live one day at a time.  I am better at being still but I'm not better at waiting.  This is why God has me here.  I knew it yesterday in my heart.  I can't tell you how much the scriptures that you send to me sustain me.  God's word is more precious to me today than 27 days ago.  He has answered every prayer request that I have petitioned HIM for and I know HE is with me today. Thank you for listening to me confess my sin.  Thank you for your prayers.  To God Be the Glory!

In His grip,

Amiee

"Today is Derrick's birthday!"

Isaiah 58:11 "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and he will strengthen your frame."

Today is Derrick's birthday.  We haven't had power in almost the past 24 hours.  There is no water in our bathroom.  It is about to storm.  Todd called me a few hours ago and he and Coleman are home safe and sound.  Thank you Lord.  I need to send paperwork to the State of Alabama for my Embassy interview but since we have no power, I cannot use the scanner and therefore, this will be another delay.  It's so hard to explain life here.  I am so used to "multitasking" and over here, there is no such thing.  It doesn't exist.  I am rambling today but I know if my battery doesn't run out with this computer or the internet doesn't decide to turn off, God will reveal to me what He is wanting me to see today.  He has given me what I have prayed for...to be with Joan and Derrick, to move them to a safer place, to know they are loved.  The bonding we have had here has been amazing.  The time I have been here has helped me know Joan and Derrick better.  Yesterday, Laurel, Kenneth and I took them to have HIV testing and chest x-rays to send to DHR...(which now I cannot email to them).  The first clinic we went to was one of the best and it was very near us.  I cannot begin to describe how primative it was.  The nurses wear dresses.  We had to walk outside and upstairs to go for the "lab" work.  I should have taken a picture but I didn't want to seem shocked or rude.  Derrick went first because Joan was already crying.  I knew not to feed them before we went because their past history has been that they will throw up on you.  Derrick actually did better than Joan. I had to tie Joan up with a "pretzel move" that looked like something I had seen at "rastling" before.  She was terrified.  Her crying made me so sad because she was truly terrified.  It was just a finger prick...to me anyway.  But to them, it was torture.  I saw how fragile they are.  I saw fear in Joan for the first time.  I wondered what was going through her mind.  Most children are afraid of the doctor.  As mother's we comfort them and console them.  In this moment, all I could do is hold her, pray for her and love her.  I have a feeling that was a glimpse of what we are going to have to do a lot of when we get home, and we will get home.  After that episode, I decided to just go straight for the chest x-rays for them for the tb test.  That would be one less time they would have to be tortured.  So, we drove across town to another clinic and waited about 2 hours for the doctor.  While we were there, people noticed us.  Laurel and I were the only white people in the clinic.  Derrick was sitting in my lap, singing to me...I guess...I really have no idea what he was saying but he was loving me.  Two men sat down beside me and wanted to know our relationship.  I told them our family was adopting these children.  They met Joan and started talking to her.  I had to explain to them that she was deaf.  Their interest immediately peaked.  They were muslims they told me, not Christians.  I explained to them about our faith.  They saw me more as an American rather than a Christian.  They even said maybe Derrick would be the next Obama.  I laughed and said maybe so...They said they didn't know a single person in their own country that would take two children from different races on the other side of the world and love them like we love them.  Those two men were shown the love of Jesus Christ through our family yesterday.  If that is why God has me here in this place with no power, no water, little communication, food I can't eat because it will make me sick, roosters crowing, dogs barking, smell of smoke, the fruit bat that sounds like an alarm clock going off all night, and the man with the megaphone on his house that sings for the mosque every morning at 5:30a.m. etc. then I say TO GOD BE THE GLORY!  My homesick feelings are about me.  They are not about God.  God wants my knees at the foot of the cross.  God wants me to give the glory to HIM through my suffering.  God knows, I would not choose to suffer.  God knows, that if I could go home right now, I would.  He has designed this time for me to be refined.  He has designed this time for me to "enlarge my territory".  I got to witness to two muslims yesterday.  That wouldn't have happened in Birmingham, AL on Eagle Valley Lane.  God smiled on my conversation with those men yesterday.  God put me in that clinic waiting for hours for a reason.  It was a good reason and it is all GOD.  Okay, see I told you when I got through with this I would know what God was trying to show me.  He is so faithful!  He is merciful!  He is mighty!

All my love,
Amiee

p.s.  The HIV and the Chest X-Rays were negative...another praise to our Lord!

"Seeing them face to face"

"Ask and it will be given to you; see and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."  Matthew 7:7-8

This is the hardest blog to write...the first face to face meeting with Joan and Derrick seemed like it took forever but now that we are together, I can't remember life without them.  The first flight was directly to Amsterdam.  It took 8 hours.  We had a three hour layover there which didn't seem long at all.  Then, our next flight was 9 hours from Amsterdam to Kigali.  That is when I began to realize how far away we have actually been from each other.  Skyping has made us feel so close but if I have to leave these children behind, it will be more difficult than I imagined.  I keep telling myself, God has a plan and His plan is perfect.  When we got to Entebe, it was really hot and humid.  We waited in line for a visa (about 30 minutes).  Then we had to get our luggage and thankfully all 12 bags made it.  We loaded them up on carts and headed for the lobby.  I didn't know where they would be or how far away we were from them but my stomach had butterflies and I prayed I wouldn't cry because I didn't want them to think I was upset.  I was pushing the cart of luggage and from around a group of people, Joan spotted me and ran to me and jumped into my arms.  I could hear Derrick saying "Cole mon, Cole mon".  By the time I saw him, I was holding Joan and Coleman was holding Derrick.  It was so late for them to be up.  Before we left the airport parking lot...maybe 15 minutes, Joan was asleep in my arms.  She knew exactly who we were and why we were there.  On the way to SOZO, she would sleep, then wake up, touch my face and lay her head back down.  My first impression of both of them was that they were smaller than I expected them to be.  Joan is tiny!  She has slept with me every night. Derrick sleeps with Todd on the top bunk in our room.  It was a surreal meeting that I will never forget.  Joel was disappointed.  He told me, "Joan and Derrick stole my show".  He is just as precious in person as I knew he would be.  We got up early the next day (I can't remember what day that was) and went to buy a phone and exchange money.  Needless to say when we went to buy a phone, the cashier told us that some of the money we had just gotten from the bank was counterfeit.  When she showed it to us, we could easily tell the difference.  We were eagerly awaiting our first trip to Rays of Hope.  I felt like we would never get there.  We walked through some areas that I don't think my mind has processed yet.  People knew Joan.  Todd was caring her through the crowd.  She was proud, you could tell.  I was worried about seeing the children at ROH because what would I tell them about adopting her and Derrick and not them?  How do you explain to children that just want to eat about suffering and why we suffer?  I prayed that the Lord would equip us when we faced the children.  We finally came to ROH.  There was a locked gate.  Joel unlocked the gate and some children lead us inside.  They gave each of us roses...a lot of roses....I was so humbled I still can't write about it and give that moment  the justice it deserves.  It really may take me getting home and then a couple of months to be able to articulate the experience we had there.  They did traditional African dances.  The had chairs set up for us.  Their choir sang.  Their drums played.  Then, when I least expected it, they made us dance with them.  The sweet girl that helped me said if I came back, she would teach me to dance.  I really can't dance.  I watched them "take their porridge".  I will definitely post a picture of this later because it looked terrible.  They also ate a piece of bread.  They lined up perfectly and didn't push, shove or act impatient.  They didn't waist a drop.  When they were finished, every cup was put back in it's place...all 300 of them.  When Joel said it was time to eat, Joan and Derrick lined up.  I wondered what they would do when we were there.  Joan never left our side.  When we got ready to leave, we couldn't find Derrick.  He had gone to his classroom with the 50 other kids his age.  He was sitting on the back row.  I'm sure he doesn't understand what we are all about.  Right now, he is just going along with it.  He will have a harder time than Joan will.  Joan said goodbye to her old life at Entebe Airport on June 23rd.  Derrick loves his new family but he will have to learn what "family" means.  They have been used to taking care of each other.  I'm so thankful we didn't have to split them up.  They would be lost without each other.  The SOZO house is amazing.  The kids do their chores everyday and they are one big family.  They will be the ones to change Uganda.  They will be the leaders that will make a difference for their communities.  Esau is 11 years old and he is amazing.  The other boys look to him for guidance.  He and Coleman have been spending time together.  I'm anxious to hear Laurel and Coleman's perspective of Africa.  They have embarrassed this experience and haven't complained one minute.  We have nothing to complain about.    We are blessed beyond comprehension!  Todd is beginning to try and figure out how we can come back and make a difference.  I am still trying to embrace our new family members and imagine what life for them is going to be like in a different place.  I have a lot to pray about.  I'm excited to see how this part of the journey is going to go.  I'm thankful I am here and I am blessed beyond measure.  God has opened this door!
Love, Amiee