 |
| "One year ago" |
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
"One Year Ago"
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2: 8-10
This morning as I am reflecting over the past year, my heart is heavy and thankful. It's been one year since the good Lord brought Joan and Derrick home. I am blessed. I have watched God move mountains in Uganda and in America. Through the adoption process, God showed me how "powerless" I am and how MIGHTY HE is. I haven't gone back and read my previous blogs but I remember I surrendered. I remember I was broken. I remember HE didn't forsake me or the children. I remember I couldn't wait to hold them, feed them and love them. They were soooooo much smaller than I thought they would be. Joan's spirit was larger than life...it still is. Derrick was timid and gentle and his eyes...how could anyone not adore him. I remember on the plane ride to Africa, a little past Amsterdam I had slight chest pains. We were just over half way there and we had been traveling a long, long time. They were still so far away. This trip was my first time out of the USA. As we got closer to Uganda, the food changed, the language changed, my comfort level changed. I quickly became a minority. As I remember that night at Entebbe Airport, I long to go back to that uncomfortableness because through that, I was so close to the LORD. I was uncomfortable but I wasn't afraid. "Pre-Uganda", uncomfortable meant fearful to me. The loving arms of Christ were waiting to welcome me in the airport that night, through Joan and Derrick but also Joel, Colby and Allen. Christ was waiting for me at SOZO. He's there! The SOZO children's English was not as easy for me to understand as I had hoped. Their Ugandan accent was strong. It didn't matter. I had heard their stories. I had seen their pictures from the year before. I had seen their "brokenness" and it broke me. The way they worship is more powerful than any church service I have ever experienced. It is beautiful, glorifying and HOLY! Thanks to the obedience of a few, (Alan, Jay and Suzanne) the love of Christ is living through these children and they are AMAZING. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed in my life. I spend a lot of time "blogging" about the one's that live with me. I enjoy sharing about them. But, I can never forget where they came from and the one's that God has called to be the Light in the darkness, the SOZO children, the SOZO family. Many people think that my children are SOZO children. They are part of the SOZO family but they are Rays of Hope children. When all of the Rays of Hope children are living in a SOZO house or they are sponsored and fed regularly, Joan, Derrick and Shamira will be SOZO children. I pray for that to be soon! There is nothing I can boast about raising these children. If you could see what Aggie, Matto and the rest of the SOZO parents do, my life looks easy. What a privilege it is for me to get to be a part of these children's journey! My faith is what sustains me each day. I don't want my life to be about me being comfortable and satisfied. I want my life to reflect the Glory of God's grace. I want to raise my children to depend on HIM, not on me. It's so hard but so necessary. I don't know what challenges today will bring but I know HE will be there with me. I am praying about taking another trip to Uganda. I don't know what that will look like. HE's got me on a "need to know" basis and when it's time HE will let me know :) If you have questions about Uganda, SOZO, Rays of Hope, please feel free to email me. I'm praying that my "blogging" will begin to go a little deeper and that God will continue to stretch me. Thank you Father for YOUR grace. YOUR grace has saved me :)
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
Saturday, July 28, 2012
"... choose this day whom you will serve..."Joshua 24:15
We had a WONDERFUL vacation over the fourth of July. We went to the beach. Everyone had a different favorite moment. My favorite moment was watching Shamira see the ocean for the first time. (Joan and Derrick had already been to the beach last fall.) She was so excited! The sand was clean and white. The water was clear and the waves were just high enough to be fun but not over powering. I had started reading a "Junie B. Jones" book with Shamira a couple of weeks ago. She could read all of the words in the book. The story was about Junie going on "vacation". I asked Shamira if she knew what a vacation was. She said "no". I explained to her that on "vacation" you go with your family to another town to "get away" from all of the stress of the day to day activity. You rest, overeat, and pray that your soul will feel rejuvenated so that when you return home, you can go back to the insanity of the world. Shamira was probably thinking, "what do you have to get away from?". She just hasn't lived here long enough yet. :) There is so much in my definition of "vacation" that I need to examine. Truly, Uganda was a "vacation" for me last summer and I DIDNOT rest or overeat BUT my soul was rejuvenated in a way that it never has been before.
Shamira has been here for one month. There is nothing she will not eat. There is nothing she hasn't embraced about "the American way". I have to admit, I can't imagine my life without her. She is slowly creeping into my heart. My mind is saying this will be to much for me. My mind is saying I won't be able to keep up with 5 kids. My heart won't be able to take her back to Uganda. Then, in the chaos of having 5 children, my husband says, "she's already my daughter". There it is! The Holy Spirit has spoken to me through my husband. Remember, when I surrendered to God, the first thing HE showed me was that I needed to submit to my husband. I have had some very good conversations with some of you about the difference in "submitting" vs. "surrendering". I have surrendered. The world encourages me to pick up what I have already put down. I'm thankful that I recognize this and have sisters that remind me when I don't remember. The bottom line is who am I going to "choose this day to serve". I choose HIM. I chose HIM. I have not gone back on my decision. So, what does that look like in my life? It means I will live one day at a time. I will not think about the complications of having 5 children, all with "special needs". God will show me the way each and every minute. I will not worry about what tomorrow will bring. I will thank God every day for the blessings HE has given me.
July 9th, 2012, we celebrated Derrick's birthday. Last year, Laurel and I celebrated with Derrick, Joan, Kenneth and Joel at the zoo in Uganda. It was quite an experience. They had monkeys crawling all over the outside of the cages. Some of the fences were about waist high with a big ditch between us and the animals. It didn't look to be the "safest zoo" I had ever been to but being with Derrick on his birthday was an answered prayer. I was thankful to be with him. This year, we had a Spider Man cake, and by Derrick's request, "a big juicy steak". The children have watched others have birthday's for a year and so this birthday was really exciting for Derrick. Joan is already counting the days on the calendar for hers next month. Shamira's birthday is Christmas Day!
Last week, Shamira saw the orthopedic surgeon. He couldn't have been any nicer. He says it's going to be very difficult to "straighten" her arm. He has operated on many NFL players and he may not realize the prayer warriors that will be with him while he's caring for sweet Shamira. All I could think when he was telling me how challenging this operation was going to be, "I've seen God move mountains." I'm praying that God will move a mountain with Shamira's healing. We are anticipating surgery the first of August. I don't know much more than that. I'm hopeful that she can start school in August or September. She has no idea what can and will be done cosmetically to her body. All she asks for is to be able to use her arm.
As I have spent the summer home with the children, God has reminded me again and again of HIS mercy on my life. The older girls have shared some of their memories of Joan in Kabalagala. These stories break my heart for what breaks HIS. There's no doubt in my mind or in my heart that our "transracial family" is part of HIS plan. I had a sweet friend ask me to share my testimony about our adoption. After reflecting upon her request, I told her my testimony is about obedience, not adoption. God has used adoption to give me a platform to reveal my sinful heart and how if I obey HIM, HE blesses my life in ways that I wouldn't have dared to ask. I pray that I never forget whom I serve and that HE breaks my heart for what breaks HIS.
Praising HIM From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
We had a WONDERFUL vacation over the fourth of July. We went to the beach. Everyone had a different favorite moment. My favorite moment was watching Shamira see the ocean for the first time. (Joan and Derrick had already been to the beach last fall.) She was so excited! The sand was clean and white. The water was clear and the waves were just high enough to be fun but not over powering. I had started reading a "Junie B. Jones" book with Shamira a couple of weeks ago. She could read all of the words in the book. The story was about Junie going on "vacation". I asked Shamira if she knew what a vacation was. She said "no". I explained to her that on "vacation" you go with your family to another town to "get away" from all of the stress of the day to day activity. You rest, overeat, and pray that your soul will feel rejuvenated so that when you return home, you can go back to the insanity of the world. Shamira was probably thinking, "what do you have to get away from?". She just hasn't lived here long enough yet. :) There is so much in my definition of "vacation" that I need to examine. Truly, Uganda was a "vacation" for me last summer and I DIDNOT rest or overeat BUT my soul was rejuvenated in a way that it never has been before.
Shamira has been here for one month. There is nothing she will not eat. There is nothing she hasn't embraced about "the American way". I have to admit, I can't imagine my life without her. She is slowly creeping into my heart. My mind is saying this will be to much for me. My mind is saying I won't be able to keep up with 5 kids. My heart won't be able to take her back to Uganda. Then, in the chaos of having 5 children, my husband says, "she's already my daughter". There it is! The Holy Spirit has spoken to me through my husband. Remember, when I surrendered to God, the first thing HE showed me was that I needed to submit to my husband. I have had some very good conversations with some of you about the difference in "submitting" vs. "surrendering". I have surrendered. The world encourages me to pick up what I have already put down. I'm thankful that I recognize this and have sisters that remind me when I don't remember. The bottom line is who am I going to "choose this day to serve". I choose HIM. I chose HIM. I have not gone back on my decision. So, what does that look like in my life? It means I will live one day at a time. I will not think about the complications of having 5 children, all with "special needs". God will show me the way each and every minute. I will not worry about what tomorrow will bring. I will thank God every day for the blessings HE has given me.
 |
| "I'm pretty sure Joel was provoking the ostrich!" |
 |
| "Happy Birthday 2011 Derrick!" |
July 9th, 2012, we celebrated Derrick's birthday. Last year, Laurel and I celebrated with Derrick, Joan, Kenneth and Joel at the zoo in Uganda. It was quite an experience. They had monkeys crawling all over the outside of the cages. Some of the fences were about waist high with a big ditch between us and the animals. It didn't look to be the "safest zoo" I had ever been to but being with Derrick on his birthday was an answered prayer. I was thankful to be with him. This year, we had a Spider Man cake, and by Derrick's request, "a big juicy steak". The children have watched others have birthday's for a year and so this birthday was really exciting for Derrick. Joan is already counting the days on the calendar for hers next month. Shamira's birthday is Christmas Day!
Last week, Shamira saw the orthopedic surgeon. He couldn't have been any nicer. He says it's going to be very difficult to "straighten" her arm. He has operated on many NFL players and he may not realize the prayer warriors that will be with him while he's caring for sweet Shamira. All I could think when he was telling me how challenging this operation was going to be, "I've seen God move mountains." I'm praying that God will move a mountain with Shamira's healing. We are anticipating surgery the first of August. I don't know much more than that. I'm hopeful that she can start school in August or September. She has no idea what can and will be done cosmetically to her body. All she asks for is to be able to use her arm.
As I have spent the summer home with the children, God has reminded me again and again of HIS mercy on my life. The older girls have shared some of their memories of Joan in Kabalagala. These stories break my heart for what breaks HIS. There's no doubt in my mind or in my heart that our "transracial family" is part of HIS plan. I had a sweet friend ask me to share my testimony about our adoption. After reflecting upon her request, I told her my testimony is about obedience, not adoption. God has used adoption to give me a platform to reveal my sinful heart and how if I obey HIM, HE blesses my life in ways that I wouldn't have dared to ask. I pray that I never forget whom I serve and that HE breaks my heart for what breaks HIS.
Praising HIM From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
Sunday, June 10, 2012
"Expectations"
"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." Romans 15: 1-2
It's been two weeks since Shamira and Phiona have been in America. We are learning a lot about each other. I am learning a lot about myself as well. It's very tempting for me to share only part of our time together but I am reminded that God is glorified by our trials and suffering...James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." So, I am considering it "pure joy" that we are facing a few trials of many kinds. I know that my faith is being testing and I know that God will persevere. There have been some surprises for me living with Shamira. That means that I had "expectations" and I should not have. My hope was in my own knowledge of what I thought would happen instead of waiting for God to show me. I have recognized this and I have put "expectations" down. Expectations can be a trap that Satan sets for me when I become complacent with my relationship with the Lord. Thank you Father that I recognize this. Here are some of the things I have learned about Shamira...She's the best dancer in the family...sorry Joanie but she just is. Hamburgers are her favorite food. She likes to eat, a lot! She would rather take a bath than a shower. She misses some of the relationships she had in Kabalagala. She is afraid of the night, not the dark. She LOVES Todd! She likes to set the table and start the dishwasher...even if there are only a few dishes in it :) She likes to "shadow"...color. She likes math better than reading. She says she wants to be an accountant because she likes to count money...I have no idea where she learned about accountants. She is not attached to me yet. I think I can go as far to say she avoids me. I think I scare her. This has really perplexed me. (pride? yes!) Trust is something I desire but when I really start to think about it, it's something I struggle with. Maybe she does too. On Thursday we went to see the surgeon that has bent over backwards to get her to the United States but also is completely devoted to seeing this child's body be healed. His name is Dr. Michael Beckinstein. You will be hearing a lot about him. When Todd called him to ask if he would consider helping Shamira Todd had not even finished with her story and he said "YES!" Her appointment was Thursday and Dr. Beckinstein called Todd about 7:30 Wednesday night to see if we'd like to meet him with Shamira to get yogurt. Dr. B thought she might be more comfortable seeing him on Thursday if she had met him before. (I have not heard of a doctor going this much out of the way for a patient.) Again, it's great not to have expectations. So much to the dismay of the rest of the children, the three of us went to meet Dr. Beckinstein, his daughter and her friend for yogurt. We had a great time. I don't think I mentioned previously, Shamira has been a handful for me... I hadn't "expected" her to be. God knew she was going to be but I hadn't "expected" her to be. I was disappointed, a little mad and resentful that I am really having to treat her more like a 3 year old than a 12 year old. I didn't "expect" her to like to play with light switches, the blinds, the garage door opener, the t.v., the remote controls, the dishwasher, to hide when I call her, to pull things out of the attic, to eat candy and hide it from me, etc. My fault, not hers... I'm the one that had "expectations". We had a great time at the yogurt place! Dr. Beckinstein's daughter was so good with Shamira. They are almost the same age. It was truly surreal sitting there with them. I saw Shamira's demeanor soften a bit. I saw her cling to Todd with her eyes. He is her safe place. The next day, she and I went for her appointment with Dr. Beckinstein. They treated her like she was the only patient they had. Their waiting room was packed. We only waited for a few minutes. I noticed Shamria had a hard time focusing. The waiting room was beautiful, probably not like the other doctors offices and hospitals she's been to before. They called us back and every single person we walked past introduced themselves to us. Shamira looked timid and unsure. They went beyond what I "expected". I had seen pictures of Shamira's scars but I have never seen them for myself. Some of them you can see when she wears a sundress but the worst part you cannot see when she's clothed. They gave her the paper gown to put on and she giggled. I didn't "expect" it to bother her as much as it did. She hid her face but I was thankful she didn't run out of the room. As she sat on the table waiting for Dr. Beckinstein to come in, she stared out of the window. It was a beautiful view of the city of Birmingham. I wanted to know so badly what she was thinking but at the same time I could see she was working things out in her mind. She was remembering why she was in the US...it wasn't to go tubing or play with friends...it was to heal her. I asked her, "what are you thinking?" She answered, "it's very different here". That's all she said and I left it at that. I knew her story of how her accident happened. I have never heard it from her but I asked her before we got to the doctor if she could tell me how she got her scars. All she told me was that her "step mom" poured the "pot" on her and her "sister" took her to the doctor. As she was undressing from her paper gown and I saw for myself her scars, God broke my heart...She wouldn't look at herself in the mirror. She closed her eyes and covered her face. Another woman did this to her, someone that should have protected her! In her mind, I may be no different that her step mom. It's going to take her a while to trust me. I am going to have to earn it before she gives it to me. God showed that to me in the office that day. How could someone have done this to her, especially a woman? I do not understand. There are a lot of things I don't understand about Kabalagala and I'm never going to. I do not know if this woman that did this to her is alive or dead. I do not know her circumstances. If she is alive, I would not be surprised if I met her. I don't know why but that's how I feel. Dr. Beckinstein told me that we would start surgeries in July. He said the first one is going to be the hardest. It will be painful for her. It will be a slow process of healing. As we were leaving the office another lady on his staff introduced herself to Shamira and told her, "you are part of our family now and we are going to take care of you". I'd like to take that lady to Uganda with me. That's it! WE are All family and that is how you love your neighbor. She gets it! Dr. Beckinstein "gets it". I'm so honored to be on this journey with Shamira. Oh Shamira, forgive me for having "expectations" of you. You are a precious child of the King of Kings! You are beautiful and wonderfully made in HIS image. You are HIS daughter and HE counts you worthy! Lord, equip our family to love her through her journey. Give me extra patients and understanding with her. Help me to put my "expectations" down! Thank you for sharing her with us. Lord, we who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak. Lord, I am strong only through YOUR grace. Help me to live to please YOU and not myself. Help Shamira to see YOUR love for her through our family. Protect my marriage and my children during this time of healing her body. Put an extra hedge of protection around our home. Satan hates what is happening through SOZO Father. Help our resolve to stay in Uganda become even stronger. Bless each child at SOZO and Rays of Hope today. Lord, give others the courage to serve these children. Make us so uncomfortable through their suffering that we move closer to YOU. Help me to live to please YOU and to build up my neighbors.
In Your Grip,
Amiee :)
It's been two weeks since Shamira and Phiona have been in America. We are learning a lot about each other. I am learning a lot about myself as well. It's very tempting for me to share only part of our time together but I am reminded that God is glorified by our trials and suffering...James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." So, I am considering it "pure joy" that we are facing a few trials of many kinds. I know that my faith is being testing and I know that God will persevere. There have been some surprises for me living with Shamira. That means that I had "expectations" and I should not have. My hope was in my own knowledge of what I thought would happen instead of waiting for God to show me. I have recognized this and I have put "expectations" down. Expectations can be a trap that Satan sets for me when I become complacent with my relationship with the Lord. Thank you Father that I recognize this. Here are some of the things I have learned about Shamira...She's the best dancer in the family...sorry Joanie but she just is. Hamburgers are her favorite food. She likes to eat, a lot! She would rather take a bath than a shower. She misses some of the relationships she had in Kabalagala. She is afraid of the night, not the dark. She LOVES Todd! She likes to set the table and start the dishwasher...even if there are only a few dishes in it :) She likes to "shadow"...color. She likes math better than reading. She says she wants to be an accountant because she likes to count money...I have no idea where she learned about accountants. She is not attached to me yet. I think I can go as far to say she avoids me. I think I scare her. This has really perplexed me. (pride? yes!) Trust is something I desire but when I really start to think about it, it's something I struggle with. Maybe she does too. On Thursday we went to see the surgeon that has bent over backwards to get her to the United States but also is completely devoted to seeing this child's body be healed. His name is Dr. Michael Beckinstein. You will be hearing a lot about him. When Todd called him to ask if he would consider helping Shamira Todd had not even finished with her story and he said "YES!" Her appointment was Thursday and Dr. Beckinstein called Todd about 7:30 Wednesday night to see if we'd like to meet him with Shamira to get yogurt. Dr. B thought she might be more comfortable seeing him on Thursday if she had met him before. (I have not heard of a doctor going this much out of the way for a patient.) Again, it's great not to have expectations. So much to the dismay of the rest of the children, the three of us went to meet Dr. Beckinstein, his daughter and her friend for yogurt. We had a great time. I don't think I mentioned previously, Shamira has been a handful for me... I hadn't "expected" her to be. God knew she was going to be but I hadn't "expected" her to be. I was disappointed, a little mad and resentful that I am really having to treat her more like a 3 year old than a 12 year old. I didn't "expect" her to like to play with light switches, the blinds, the garage door opener, the t.v., the remote controls, the dishwasher, to hide when I call her, to pull things out of the attic, to eat candy and hide it from me, etc. My fault, not hers... I'm the one that had "expectations". We had a great time at the yogurt place! Dr. Beckinstein's daughter was so good with Shamira. They are almost the same age. It was truly surreal sitting there with them. I saw Shamira's demeanor soften a bit. I saw her cling to Todd with her eyes. He is her safe place. The next day, she and I went for her appointment with Dr. Beckinstein. They treated her like she was the only patient they had. Their waiting room was packed. We only waited for a few minutes. I noticed Shamria had a hard time focusing. The waiting room was beautiful, probably not like the other doctors offices and hospitals she's been to before. They called us back and every single person we walked past introduced themselves to us. Shamira looked timid and unsure. They went beyond what I "expected". I had seen pictures of Shamira's scars but I have never seen them for myself. Some of them you can see when she wears a sundress but the worst part you cannot see when she's clothed. They gave her the paper gown to put on and she giggled. I didn't "expect" it to bother her as much as it did. She hid her face but I was thankful she didn't run out of the room. As she sat on the table waiting for Dr. Beckinstein to come in, she stared out of the window. It was a beautiful view of the city of Birmingham. I wanted to know so badly what she was thinking but at the same time I could see she was working things out in her mind. She was remembering why she was in the US...it wasn't to go tubing or play with friends...it was to heal her. I asked her, "what are you thinking?" She answered, "it's very different here". That's all she said and I left it at that. I knew her story of how her accident happened. I have never heard it from her but I asked her before we got to the doctor if she could tell me how she got her scars. All she told me was that her "step mom" poured the "pot" on her and her "sister" took her to the doctor. As she was undressing from her paper gown and I saw for myself her scars, God broke my heart...She wouldn't look at herself in the mirror. She closed her eyes and covered her face. Another woman did this to her, someone that should have protected her! In her mind, I may be no different that her step mom. It's going to take her a while to trust me. I am going to have to earn it before she gives it to me. God showed that to me in the office that day. How could someone have done this to her, especially a woman? I do not understand. There are a lot of things I don't understand about Kabalagala and I'm never going to. I do not know if this woman that did this to her is alive or dead. I do not know her circumstances. If she is alive, I would not be surprised if I met her. I don't know why but that's how I feel. Dr. Beckinstein told me that we would start surgeries in July. He said the first one is going to be the hardest. It will be painful for her. It will be a slow process of healing. As we were leaving the office another lady on his staff introduced herself to Shamira and told her, "you are part of our family now and we are going to take care of you". I'd like to take that lady to Uganda with me. That's it! WE are All family and that is how you love your neighbor. She gets it! Dr. Beckinstein "gets it". I'm so honored to be on this journey with Shamira. Oh Shamira, forgive me for having "expectations" of you. You are a precious child of the King of Kings! You are beautiful and wonderfully made in HIS image. You are HIS daughter and HE counts you worthy! Lord, equip our family to love her through her journey. Give me extra patients and understanding with her. Help me to put my "expectations" down! Thank you for sharing her with us. Lord, we who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak. Lord, I am strong only through YOUR grace. Help me to live to please YOU and not myself. Help Shamira to see YOUR love for her through our family. Protect my marriage and my children during this time of healing her body. Put an extra hedge of protection around our home. Satan hates what is happening through SOZO Father. Help our resolve to stay in Uganda become even stronger. Bless each child at SOZO and Rays of Hope today. Lord, give others the courage to serve these children. Make us so uncomfortable through their suffering that we move closer to YOU. Help me to live to please YOU and to build up my neighbors.
In Your Grip,
Amiee :)
Thursday, May 31, 2012
"You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." Revelation 3:17
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| "Waiting" |
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| "Skyping with Joel" |
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| "Tubing at the Lake" |
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| "Laurel and Shamria swimming" |
Two days ago, my blended family was normal and I didn't even know it. We had a routine. We have traditions. We work together to achieve a common goal, whether it's getting to an activity together on time, celebrating that we didn't get an 'opp's note' at school, etc. Normal things that happen in every family that we have worked so hard to achieve have quickly become "our new normal". We have worked through so much and it's really only been about 10 months. This time last year, I dreamed of getting my two brown babies home safe and sound. On Thursday, May 24th, 2012, two worlds collided, again. I didn't know that was what was happening but guess who did? The MAN upstairs... He knew because HE has brought two of HIS most precious children to Alabama. Why did HE do this? Because HE loves us...The meeting at the airport was again surreal. It was not like when Joan and Derrick came home but it was ordained by God. Their flights were not delayed. I did not have the relationship with these children like I had with Joan and Derrick. The circumstances are definitely different. They are here for medical needs...that's what I told myself anyway. That's what I prepared for by sending email after email...it's all about helping the poor, the fatherless...Right? I didn't realize that I was "wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked". I'm going to journal as truthfully as I can because that is the only way I will be able to see truly how GREAT our GOD is. As the girls were walking towards us, they had their heads down with "hoodies" on. I couldn't see their faces. I couldn't imagine their "excitement"...They looked exhausted and one of them looked scared to me. I don't think she was but I would have been. Maybe she was. I reluctantly embraced them because they seemed so fragile. I am a stranger to them. They are a stranger to me. They asked for two things before they left Uganda...Was there going to be ice cream on the plane and would Todd be at the airport waiting for them. I don't know if they had ice cream or not but Todd was waiting for the girls at the gate and his excitement was contagious. They were so happy to see him and Suzanne and we were all glad they finally made it safely. We had a late lunch with Suzanne and a few others. It was interesting to see the dynamics change immediately in my "new normal family". I saw my brown children go back to Kabalagala. Todd and I expected this. If they were still living in Uganda, these 12 year old children would be my 5 and 7 year old children's care takers. These 12 year old girls are considered "grown women" in their culture. There is very little opportunity for them. I'm sure they are in a bit of "culture shock". So am I. I will reluctantly share with you that Shamira will not look at me when she talks to me. When I call her name, she sometimes runs from me and hides, even locked the door on me once...( I do know how to turn those locks around. We had to do that with Laurel and Joanie :) She is still on a different time zone and I'm sure that will get better quickly. We are now teaching Joan and Derrick that Shamira is "not the boss" of them and we are teaching Shamira that "Todd and I are the boss of her". I can't imagine how conflicted she must feel. She is not used to having a bed or a home like the one she's in now. She has been protecting herself for 12 years...her entire life and now the "muzunga's" are trying to tell her what to do and what NOT to do...Maybe she'd rather be poor again but God said "NO". He has blessed our lives with each other and I will obey HIM. It will not be easy. It is going to be exhausting but we will glorify the LORD with our suffering. (I do think we are going to suffer.) Unfortunately, God knows I drift if I'm not seeing HIS cross right in front of me. I will see HIS cross through these precious children. I pray that I can reflect the same unconditional love that HE has for me to them. They are going to endure a lot. There is no way they can comprehend this. They are not supposed to. I think it could be through the medical journey when they realize, "we need these muzunga's". God has called our family to love them through it. He knows we can and I pray that we will. It will be a choice to love them well, not a feeling always. We are trying not to look past today because that's all we have. We took the girls to the lake. They had never been swimming before and they were so excited. They warmed up to the water as the day went on and they were sad to leave. Every moment is a "disney world" moment to them. They have had their first warm shower, ridden their first bike, eaten ice cream whenever they wanted, slept in beds, all things my prideful self think I deserve daily. So, our Great Creator brought these girls to Eagle Valley Lane to once again reveal my pride because HE loves me and HE continues to pursue me. I can't seem to talk HIM out of it :)
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
I usaually turn to this scripture for comfort when I am sad or when my flesh is weary because I have not gotten "my way". This morning as I am reading this scripture I'm reminded that I cannot comprehend the love the LORD has for me. Not only are HIS ideas that make my heart sometimes ache "higher than my ways" so is the joy that HE wants me to recieve. My children are proof of this. Today at 1:00, Coleman will no longer be a middle schooler but a "high schooler". Yes, I will be teary eyed when I pick him up. He was the most beautiful baby... He had the biggest blue eyes and yes, he was a "momma's boy". The LORD has given me Coleman to reflect the gentle spirit that the LORD has for me. Coleman is guided by a loving tone and he is not afraid to love others who are different from him. I cannot wait to see how the LORD will use Coleman for HIS glory. Coleman, I'm so thankful God shared you with me. Laurel will be a junior! Oh my goodness! I remember dropping her off at kindergarten with her little pink wire rim glasses and her beautiful blonde hair. God has given me Laurel to reflect HIS steadfastness in my life. She is loyal and she is constant. She is dependable and kind. Laurel doesn't waiver in her faith. The LORD is using her in a mighty way in my life. I love you Lala! Joanie, Joanie, Joanie... at 1:00 today, she will be a first grader! The child that had no language has run Mrs. B's kindergarten class this year. (Not really but she thinks she has.) God gave me Joan to remind me of HIS forgiveness of my sin. Even though she is still learning this concept (so am I by the way) I see glimpses of sin in my life of holding onto hate. Anything that is not love is hate. There is no grey area. As I walk beside Joanie through her trials, the Lord is continuing to show me my sin and through Joan, HE is teaching me to rely on HIM to meet all of my needs. She reminds me that my children are not my children...they are HIS and so am I. Derrick is my brown baby that NEVER stops talking. He says to me, "Momma, let me love your cheeks" then he pushes his little soft brown face to mine and holds me close. The LORD has given me Derrick to remind me that when I can't pray for myself, the Holy Spirit knows what I need and HE is interceding on my behalf. God gave me Derrick because Derrick is my unexpected mercy. When we said we would adopt Joan we didn't know that Joan had a little brother. God knew we needed Derrick and thankfully, we knew he was ours. Derrick brings laughter into our lives. He is the best dancer in the family! Today at 3:00, the Lord is bringing two more children into our lives. They are coming here so that their bodies can heal but I have no doubt, the LORD is bringing them to continue to heal my sinful heart. Please pray for Phionna and Shamira today. The LORD has prepared them for this journey. I can't begin to imagine what they are thinking today. PLEASE lift them up as they come to the US for physical healing. Uganda is a looooonnnng way from here. I could make a long list of things that will be different for them. Our lives are about to change again and I'm thankful. God keeps moving me and stretching me. I think that's where the wrinkles are coming from:) I count everyone of them as a blessing.
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
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| "HIS higher ways and HIS thoughts" |
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
Sunday, May 20, 2012
"Are we there yet?"
"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
We'll they are coming. I wonder if they have any idea where they are coming...how far apart we really are from Uganda. Instead of asking, "Are we there yet?" on a trip Derrick asks "is it as far away as SOZO?". That trip makes every other trip seem easy. God does meet all of my needs...everyday. It's usually with others that HE meets my needs. Someone will send me a note that lifts my spirits and gets my focus off myself and reminds me of the glory that surrounds me. Someone stops by and prays for my children. Unexpected...that's what makes me smile. Unexpected...but shouldn't I expect it? Shouldn't I expect that "God will meet all of my needs according to HIS glorious riches in Chirst Jesus"? HE says HE will and I see it played over and over throughout my life. I have seen the glory of the Lord. I have no doubt where my blessings come from. I am called to "give it all away". As Coleman and I were talking the other day, I remembered that I am instructed to give away all that I have and all that I am. He didn't bless me abundantly with "things" for my pleasure. He gave it to me and commanded me to give "it" away. If I keep it ("it" is also "myself") I'm not being obedient. So, when Todd came home in January from Uganda and said, "Amiee, we have to help them. They are suffering and we have to help them." I had no idea what that was going to look like. I really didn't. The process started with praying...God will have to do this because I cannot. I must confess that deep in my sinful heart I didn't want to do it. Joan and Derrick have transistioned beautifully but ya'll, it's hard sometimes. It takes a lot of enerygy physically but also mentally. Is it worth it? Absolutely, but these girls have significant medical needs. Their wounds are deep. I can't wait to tell their stories to you. I've decided to wait until they are able to tell them to me and ask them if I can share with you. It's their news to tell. I'm hoping that they learn enough English that they can share their stories with you when you come by my house and meet them or meet us out for dinner:) God will reveal their testimonies and I can't wait! As the process of medical visa's began, HE put one person, then another person directly in my path and everytime I asked for help, the answer was "yes". Some of the people that have helped these girls get here I have never met. In fact, most of the doctors and nurses I have not met. They have seen photos of the children and read a few brief medical documents from Kampala. They don't know who I am or who the girls are but they know who HE is and they said "yes...of course I will help." Their enthusiasm was a "need" that God knew I had. I didn't have the energy to plead with people to help suffering children. God has brought together an amazing team of servants to help these girls. Get ready! We are about to witness healing through the body of Christ! Though the grace of God, I have witnessed spiritual healing in my life. The body of Christ is alive and well. I can't wait to meet the people that have agreed to be the hands and feet of Christ to these girls. By their obedience, they have healed my spirit...They have shown me once again that "I can't do it" but "HE can" and "HE will".
Please lift up the girls this week, especially the faithful servant that is bringing them home. She's a college student that may be feeling a little overwhelmed by the responsibility of traveling with two extra companions but, our God is already working through that. We actually have a dear friend that will be on the same flight from Amsterdam to Atlanta with her so I'm hoping he can help them get through immigration. (I'm not sure we've told him yet that they will be on the same flight:) That was the most difficult part of our trip...getting back into the United States. Pray that they don't get motion sickness on the plane. I'm not sure if they have ever even ridden in a car. If they have, it's only been once or twice, maybe when they went to the doctor back in January with Todd and Suzanne. What perfect timing God has...they will be here the first day of summer. I will post more specific medical prayer requests when the time comes for testing and surgeries. The only thing I would ask for now is pray that they test negative for HIV. Whether they have it or not they will be treated but our prayer is that we can get them as healthy as possible before surgeries begin. HIV is treatable. I covet all of your prayers. That's what we need now. Pray for hearts to be prepared as we begin what God puts in front of us today.
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
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| "Phionna and Shamira" |
Please lift up the girls this week, especially the faithful servant that is bringing them home. She's a college student that may be feeling a little overwhelmed by the responsibility of traveling with two extra companions but, our God is already working through that. We actually have a dear friend that will be on the same flight from Amsterdam to Atlanta with her so I'm hoping he can help them get through immigration. (I'm not sure we've told him yet that they will be on the same flight:) That was the most difficult part of our trip...getting back into the United States. Pray that they don't get motion sickness on the plane. I'm not sure if they have ever even ridden in a car. If they have, it's only been once or twice, maybe when they went to the doctor back in January with Todd and Suzanne. What perfect timing God has...they will be here the first day of summer. I will post more specific medical prayer requests when the time comes for testing and surgeries. The only thing I would ask for now is pray that they test negative for HIV. Whether they have it or not they will be treated but our prayer is that we can get them as healthy as possible before surgeries begin. HIV is treatable. I covet all of your prayers. That's what we need now. Pray for hearts to be prepared as we begin what God puts in front of us today.
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
"...It's complicated"
"And his father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied, saying, Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people and has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David, as he spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets from of old, that we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us; to show the mercy promised to our fathers and to remember his covenant, the oath that he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all our days. And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give knowledge of salvation to his people in the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our Go whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace" Luke 1: 67-79
What happens when two countries 8500 miles apart try to come together for the sake of children that are abandoned and need medical care? It's complicated. What happens when we are one document away from having medical visa's in hand? It's complicated. Yesterday, was complicated. Today has already been more complicated than yesterday. So many things went right but we didn't get the visa's. We did everything we could but God said, "Not yet". To me in my small, simple mind, it's complicated. But as God has shown me time and time and time again, HIS ways are higher. He's got this but tonight at 2:00 a.m. our time and 10:00 a.m. Uganda time it's complicated and I am tired. I've lost track of the days and nights between Uganda and the US. We are waiting on one document, one man, one travel companion and 2 visa's so the girls can come to the US. This really isn't that much but in Uganda, this one document could arrive within the next 5 minutes or the next 5 weeks. You just never know. Catherine and Jonathan did everything they could do to get these visa's. We wouldn't be this close without them. They were not able to change their flights. Todd spent the entire afternoon trying to figure out a way that we could change their flights so they could all come home together but we just weren't able to work that out. Our hope was that the girls would be on the plane home with them Thursday night. Without the "one document" we could not be given the visa's. The good news is, the girls will be granted visa's. This document was not something listed specifically on the requirements. It was not something that was asked for in the interview. It was something that was asked for at the last minute. We will get the document...no worries about that. I'm thinking that God wants this process to touch a few more lives and I know HE will use this delay to refine my own sinful heart. He has already brought new people into my path within the last 24 hours that I may have never known and I will use this delay for HIS glory. The scripture above gave me so much hope as I am sitting her in my kitchen in the middle of the night asking God "why does this too have to be so complicated?" I felt bitterness and resentment build in my heart thinking all day, "Now these children are finally going to get help and someone who has been a 5 minute boda ride from them wants to know whose been caring for them in Uganda??? Where have these people been during their suffering? Now they want to protect them from doctors and people who will love them and care about them...Lord, I don't understand." That was me, making this not about HIM. Those thoughts were me thinking my way was better than HIS. That is a very good example of what me not trusting in Him and me standing up instead of kneeling down looks like....ugly! Then God revealed the passage above to me. "Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit..." Lord, fill me with the Holy Spirit. The God of Israel"for he has visited and redeemed his people and raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David...". He's talking about me. This is good news. It's not complicated. He claimed "we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us". It's complicated because satan hates what is happening with SOZO and Rays of HOPE. So, instead of feeling tired and weary tonight, I am going to claim that I have been saved. Then, my favorite part, "to show the mercy promised to our fathers and to remember his covenant, the oath that he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us that we being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all our days." I will continue to serve HIM without fear and righteousness before HIM all my days. I will confess my sinful heart. Jesus has already gone before me and prepared HIS way, to give knowledge of salvation to HIS people in the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace." God is shining HIS light though this. These are HIS children and I know "HE"S got this! It's not complicated to HIM.
Todd and I were talking today about the girls...trying to imagine if they can even begin grasp the surgical pain they are about to endure but also the different life experiences they are about to have. S is always smiling. Her smile is sooooo BIG. She always looks happy. When you see her scars, they are horrific. There's no way to sugar coat that. I asked Todd today, "how can she always find a reason to smile? She is in constant pain?" His answer, "she's alive". With that statement, God humbled me again and I went back to the foot of the cross. Please continue to pray for God's will to be done with these children. I wish I could ask for more specific prayer requests tonight but that's all I think I need to ask for. It's really not as complicated as I was making it.
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
What happens when two countries 8500 miles apart try to come together for the sake of children that are abandoned and need medical care? It's complicated. What happens when we are one document away from having medical visa's in hand? It's complicated. Yesterday, was complicated. Today has already been more complicated than yesterday. So many things went right but we didn't get the visa's. We did everything we could but God said, "Not yet". To me in my small, simple mind, it's complicated. But as God has shown me time and time and time again, HIS ways are higher. He's got this but tonight at 2:00 a.m. our time and 10:00 a.m. Uganda time it's complicated and I am tired. I've lost track of the days and nights between Uganda and the US. We are waiting on one document, one man, one travel companion and 2 visa's so the girls can come to the US. This really isn't that much but in Uganda, this one document could arrive within the next 5 minutes or the next 5 weeks. You just never know. Catherine and Jonathan did everything they could do to get these visa's. We wouldn't be this close without them. They were not able to change their flights. Todd spent the entire afternoon trying to figure out a way that we could change their flights so they could all come home together but we just weren't able to work that out. Our hope was that the girls would be on the plane home with them Thursday night. Without the "one document" we could not be given the visa's. The good news is, the girls will be granted visa's. This document was not something listed specifically on the requirements. It was not something that was asked for in the interview. It was something that was asked for at the last minute. We will get the document...no worries about that. I'm thinking that God wants this process to touch a few more lives and I know HE will use this delay to refine my own sinful heart. He has already brought new people into my path within the last 24 hours that I may have never known and I will use this delay for HIS glory. The scripture above gave me so much hope as I am sitting her in my kitchen in the middle of the night asking God "why does this too have to be so complicated?" I felt bitterness and resentment build in my heart thinking all day, "Now these children are finally going to get help and someone who has been a 5 minute boda ride from them wants to know whose been caring for them in Uganda??? Where have these people been during their suffering? Now they want to protect them from doctors and people who will love them and care about them...Lord, I don't understand." That was me, making this not about HIM. Those thoughts were me thinking my way was better than HIS. That is a very good example of what me not trusting in Him and me standing up instead of kneeling down looks like....ugly! Then God revealed the passage above to me. "Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit..." Lord, fill me with the Holy Spirit. The God of Israel"for he has visited and redeemed his people and raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David...". He's talking about me. This is good news. It's not complicated. He claimed "we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us". It's complicated because satan hates what is happening with SOZO and Rays of HOPE. So, instead of feeling tired and weary tonight, I am going to claim that I have been saved. Then, my favorite part, "to show the mercy promised to our fathers and to remember his covenant, the oath that he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us that we being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all our days." I will continue to serve HIM without fear and righteousness before HIM all my days. I will confess my sinful heart. Jesus has already gone before me and prepared HIS way, to give knowledge of salvation to HIS people in the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace." God is shining HIS light though this. These are HIS children and I know "HE"S got this! It's not complicated to HIM.
Todd and I were talking today about the girls...trying to imagine if they can even begin grasp the surgical pain they are about to endure but also the different life experiences they are about to have. S is always smiling. Her smile is sooooo BIG. She always looks happy. When you see her scars, they are horrific. There's no way to sugar coat that. I asked Todd today, "how can she always find a reason to smile? She is in constant pain?" His answer, "she's alive". With that statement, God humbled me again and I went back to the foot of the cross. Please continue to pray for God's will to be done with these children. I wish I could ask for more specific prayer requests tonight but that's all I think I need to ask for. It's really not as complicated as I was making it.
Praising God From Whom All Blessings Flow,
Amiee :)
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