"He Equips the Called..."

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to pull their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.  Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.  In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."  1 Timothy 6:17-19


This blog will be "better than a Hallelujah".  I'm going to poor out my misery.  God will just hear a melody.  Beautiful the mess we are...  You probably know that song.  Last week Derrick told me every day he was ready to go back to the "beash".  Joan had swimmers ear.  Thank goodness for medicine.  Todd, Derrick and I took Joan Friday morning for her "speech evaluation".  We were there for about 2 hours.  I told the speech therapist, who was precious, what we were doing for Joan at school...(learning sign language with interpreters) etc.  She was definitely on the same page with us about Joan's "language".  We are going to start therapy at Children's Hospital for Joan as soon as there is an opening.  She went into more detail explaining how the brain processes differentiating sounds...example, Joan can't tell the difference in a truck driving by and our voices.  She has actually started responding less to our voices since she has the hearing aids because it's all just noise to her.  After the two hour appointment at the "Hearing Center" we went straight to Children's Hospital for a cat scan, MRI and 5 viles of blood to be drawn.  Thank the good Lord that Todd Reeves was with me.  Joan is a daddy's girl.  She is all about Todd.  I love watching them.  He loves her by picking on her, laughing at her, playing with her and when it's all said and done, she climbs up in his lap and begs for more.  Today, Todd did the hard stuff...holding her down for the IV.  None of us ate lunch because she couldn't eat or drink anything.  Joan and Derrick never complained about being hungry.  They have been hungry before and they are very familiar with "hunger".  Joan did really well for the testing and the nurses and doctors were wonderful!  As I was sitting there waiting for those tests to be done, I started going through my mind what the speech therapist told us and my brain began to process that Joan's "speech therapy" is more about learning to listen than to speak.  I felt a little dip in my stomach as my brain began to process what this will look like in our lives.  The main thing is we HAVE to learn sign language.  Satan crept into my mind and began to tell me I would not be able to learn it enough to build a relationship with her.  He wants me to believe how inadequate I am and that I will not overcome this because it scares me to think about some of the conversations that I would like to have with Joan even now that I am not capable of having...(ex. what a line is for and why we need to be in lines).  I'm still bothered that I can't "read" a book to her.  You see what Satan does?  He knows just how to find the cracks in my faith.  He finds the cracks and seeps inside.  This entire day, Friday, through all of the testing I was looking for a way out of the "deaf world" for me, not for Joan.  In the back of my mind, I keep thinking, maybe I won't have to emerge myself in sign language.  Maybe there will be new technology to help "her".  I'm still conflicted about my motives with the testing we are involved in.  I'm praying about "my motives" with the "hearing" process for Joan.  One thing I know about myself is I have hurt a lot of people through my life with "good intentions".  Anyway, that's another story.

Sunday morning, we decided to go to a church that has signing interpreters through the service.  We wanted to see how Joan responded to them and we were interested in seeing them for ourselves.  We sat down and then we realized where the signers were so we moved over to that side of the church.  I knew one of the interpreters.  She is a sister in Christ that has adopted 3 children that are deaf.  I can see why God lead her to adopt deaf children.  She is a beautiful "signer".  She makes it look effortless.  I feel like when I sign, I have a "stutter" or a speech "signing" impediment.  It's not pretty when I sign....it's really not.  Signing with her was one of Joan's interpreters from school.  Joan was beside herself with excitement to see AJ and her husband. They are with Joan 4 hours a day.  Her husband is deaf and Joan absolutely adores him.  We don't think she realizes D is deaf.   When I went to introduce myself to him in "sign language" I realized I don't have a sign for my name, "Amiee".  I'm just "momma". I've got to come up with a sign for my name.  I cried the entire time watching Joan in her "deaf" world with people that can communicate with her.  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!  Sitting two rows behind us was my life line during the adoption, Sheryl.  She was sitting with her beautiful family, two of which are from Uganda.  I think I will always well up with tears when I see her.  We were not friends before but we are friends for life and sisters in Christ forever!  So you see the picture I'm painting...God was all over us Sunday morning guiding me to the deaf world.  Now you're really not going to believe what HE did next.  Katie from Uganda...www.kissesfromKatie.blogspot.com...was there.  If you don't know her story, you should look at her blog.  She has an amazing story.  She is a young beautiful girl that decided against her families wishes to stay in Uganda for a year right out of high school.  Long story short, she has been there about 3 years and never came back to America. She has an amazing heart for orphans and the people of Uganda.  She is not even 25 years old yet and she has started an amazing ministry and adopted 14 children of her own.  Katie has just written a book.  I have to say, I want to read the book I think her mother should write.  I don't know how I would cope with that decision if that were Laurel.  I guess I would eventually surrender it to God because that's really all you can do but wow!  That's big for the Kingdom but hard on a mother's heart.  She talked about Uganda and the people and she took me right back to SOZO and Rays of Hope.  God was all over me in that service.  We had no idea she was going to be there.  If she had said at the end of the service, "I have 6 plane tickets to Uganda.  Who would like to go?"  Reeves Party of Six would have been "lined" up (Joan could be first) ready to go and serve the beautiful people of Uganda.  When I think about Uganda, it's hard for me to explain what's so enticing about it.  The poverty is still more than my eyes can comprehend.  The abuse that young girls suffer is my worst nightmare.  For me, what is beautiful about Uganda and my time there is how I had to draw nearer to God for him to meet my every need.  To say that all the people there can cling to is God is not an understatement.  I don't live like that here.  I am blessed sooooo abundantly.  I know I am not giving enough away.  Enough of what?  Myself, my resources, my gifts and my talents.  My hope is in the "ways of this world" way to much.  Christmas is coming.  How much money will I spend on decorating my house?  More than I will honestly admit.  How many children could I feed with that money? I don't even want to think about that but Christ is commanding me to go to that uncomfortable place.  Every night when I tuck Joan and Derrick into bed Derrick blesses Rays of Hope and SOZO.  He asks about his friends there but he doesn't want to go back.  I can't let him forget and they won't let me forget how God blessed me with my time in Uganda.  God's word says, "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment."  I have seen this verse in high definition!  Lord, please help me to put my hope back in YOU.  "Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share".  He's not suggesting to do good.  He's commanding me to be good and HE's commanding me to be willing to share.  Sharing is a beautiful thing.  I never regret sharing.  If I do, I'm full of pride.  Two things bother me now that didn't bother me before I went to Uganda.  "I'm starving"...to hear people say this bother's me now.  I've said it myself and I know now when I say it, I am lying.  "I'm proud of you"...I say this to my kids and when I do, I am putting my hope in them instead of teaching them that my hope is in the Lord.  There is nothing good in my life that I have accomplished by myself.  There is nothing good in me.  "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out."  Romans 7:18  This has been a concept I have been praying about for about a year.  This verse has so much hope for me.  My fear of not being adequate to be in the "deaf world" is because I'm thinking it's all about me...that is pride.  How many times have I heard people say, "God doesn't call the equipped.  He equips the called."  I'm not good enough.  HE is.  I'm not able.  HE is.  When I remember that it's not about me and I don't have to be "good enough"  my knees are at the foot of the cross and I will see HIM move mountains.  Adoption was a mountain.  Deafness is a mountain.  It's all about God, not me.  It's all in HIS timing.  HE called me to adopt Joan and Derrick.  HE must have a good reason and a plan.  I know it's all for HIS glory!  Lord, help my life to reflect the glory and grace you have extend to me.  Equip me to be the mother of 4 beautiful children who communicate differently.  Equip me to be the wife that you desire for me to be and help me to love others well.  Help me to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share.  Forgive me of my sin of pride.  Help me to stay at the foot of YOUR cross.


In His Grip!
Amiee :)