"When can I go to school?"

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."  John 10:27

"Two sheep"

What a week!  I'd have to look back at my calendar to remember all of the appointments we had but let me say, we made a lot of progress with "wellness".  Joan and Derrick are very healthy!  Thank the Lord for the good news that we received.  There were a couple of times they didn't want to get in the car because they thought it would mean "shots"...I can't say that I blame them. We saw the doctor at the International Adoption Clinic Monday morning.  I thought we would be there an hour.  We were there about 4 hours.  I'm thankful they were so thorough but I should have packed a snack or activities for the kids but I didn't.  It went well.  We got the information regarding the ages of their "bones".  Based on the x-rays of their wrists, Joan "could be" 7 or 8 and Derrick "could be" 5 or 6" years of age.  I was a little disappointed with this news because for me, it makes school a little more challenging.  Todd took x-rays of them at their "dental appointments".  Joan has her 6 year molars and Derrick is not even close to loosing any baby teeth.  Developmentally, Derrick is very young.  To me, Joan seems to be developmentally 7 to 8 years old.  However, when you are trying to decide where to put her in school, it's difficult because she doesn't have a "language" that will help her  communicate with her teachers or peers.  I am not equipped to home school her.  She needs speech therapy, maybe occupational therapy, and an interpreter.  Right now, I know God is calling me to be her mother and her advocate.  She is so smart.  Once her "language" is established, she is going to learn quickly and I believe that she will catch up rapidly.  She is a leader and she will lead.  My concern is this,  if the judge doesn't allow us to change the age on their birth certificates, Joan could be 16 years old in the 8th grade and Derrick will never get to play sports with his peers.  My first thought is, "that's not fair to them".  That "first thought" is what my pride looks like.  Pride is what makes me take back from God what I have claimed to already have given HIM.  So, I am going to continue to pray for God's hand in these children's lives and I am not going to pick "my pride" back up.  The world will tell me that "it's my decision".   It may be "my decision" but it's not in my control how God uses this decision.  They  are my children on loan from my Heavenly Father that loves them more than I do.  I will pray for God's hand to guide the judge, the doctors, and the teachers.  I will not put my hope in them.  My hope will be in the Father that loves them more than I can dream of, the Father that has protected them since before they were born into this world whenever that day and year was.  He will protect them.  He always has.  Okay, this is the hard part...Joan sees Laurel and Coleman go to school everyday.  She has been asking me, "When can I go to school?  Is it today?"  I keep telling her, "Not today."  It makes my heart ache a little to think about sending her to school.  It makes my heart ache that Coleman and Laurel are in school most of our waking hours and I miss them.  I decided it was time to take a tour of the school for Joan and I.  As soon as I pulled up in the parking lot, I got teary eyed because I could feel the old feelings of waiting in carpool line for Laurel and Coleman.  WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE!  I've had these children in my lives for 10 months and I when I think about them going to school all day, I have no less emotions than I did when Laurel and Coleman started school.  My heart aches thinking about it.  Anyway, we went into the school and Joan went right around the reception desk to the secretary and gave her a big hug.  Evidently, they have met before and Joan was right at home in the office.  Derrick was standing close by me, not moving.  We met the assistant principal.  I have talked with her on the phone several times and she has been very kind to me.  I have tried to "talk her out" of Joan beginning school.  She will not accept any of my "reasons/excuses".  She is excited about having her and I am blessed that she has received Joan in this way.  I watched Joan the entire time.  She soaked it all in!  The bathrooms, the halls, the desks, the name tags...she took it all in.  She met the music teacher, the art teacher, the custodians, and several teachers.  She is not the least bit inhibited to start school.  Ms. Sallie introduced her to her p.e. class.  This was a moment I will never forget.  She explained to them that Joan was "deaf" and that means she can't hear our voices but she uses sign language to communicate.  Those children were totally focused on Joan.  Joan immediately started signing her name to them and of course she told them to sign her name.  They did exactly what she instructed them to do.   Then, she started "talking" to them.  When I hear Joan talk, it brings tears to my eyes.  God has given her a voice and she intends on using it.  The children never took their eyes off of her.  She demanded their attention and they gave it to her.  The presence of the Lord was in that gym yesterday.   Rays of Hope, SOZO and orphans from Africa were in the gym yesterday.  God's power to heal was in the gym.  God's perfect timing and plan were in the gym.  Whoever gets to be Joan's teacher is going to learn more from her than they teach her.  I have.   Does she really understand what she is asking for wanting to start school?  I don't know.  I do know that she hears HIM, He knows her and she will follow HIM.  I feel that way about Laurel, Coleman and Derrick as well.  Lord, help me to learn from my children to listen to YOU, remember that YOU know me, and give me the courage to follow YOU everyday.  It's that simple.  Don't let my pride make it harder for me than it is. 

In Him,

Amiee