Hebrews 12: 2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
This week I lost sight of this verse plain and simple. We had our 3 of 4 home study visits. The social worker interviewed Laurel and me. Laurel was very nervous about her questions. I think she thought she would say something she shouldn't say and I can't think of anything that Laurel would say that wouldn't be spoken in truth and love. Her answers were simple and honest. Her face showed excitement and love of our two family members that are on the other side of the world. There was only one of Laurel's answers that surprised me. The social worker asked her, " What do you think will be the hardest part of having these children come and live with you?"...(something like that) and Laurel's answer was, "I'm going to need more patience." I have never perceived Laurel as not having patience. I don't remember a time where I have seen her respond to me with impatience. She has a heart for God. She told the social worker she had been working on having more patience. Her answer made me pause because I have always thought that I was a very patient person myself. Would I need more patience? I have prayed for patience before and let me tell you from first hand experience, don't pray for patience unless you want to be tested. I think God looks at us with a slight smile and says to us "game on" when we ask for patience. I thought all night as it snowed harder than it has in a while, do I have enough patience to raise these children? Then a couple of good friends reminded me I am not equipped to do anything much less raise these children but He is. All week long, I am ashamed to say, I have not focused on God. I have been distracted with the weather, work issues, scheduling issues, and I have been serving myself and others instead of my Heavenly Father. I started thinking about how "I" can get all of this paperwork done quicker. How can "I" get ready for the home inspection and so on and so on. I have been short with Todd and the kids because I have been focused on myself. I am not going to pray for patience during this process. I am going to continue to pray that I will choose to surrender to God. I am going to pray that I am an obedient servant of the Lord and that I will choose Him first, not when it fits into my crazy schedule. I day dream about having these children in my life. I don't need to think that far ahead because my moto for 2011 is "One day at a time." I will miss precious time with Laurel, Coleman and Todd and I will "wish my life away". I don't want to wish my life away. I want to fix my eyes on Jesus Christ the author and perfecter of my faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Julie, Chris, Josh, Nicholas and Lucas are here for the weekend. Davy and Amanda are on the way. If the good Lord is willing, Julie, Amanda and I are going to run the Mercede's 1/2 marathon in the morning. I will be able to mark that little task off my "bucket list". We are having a great visit.
We'll it's Sunday afternoon. We ran the race and all I can say is I only finished by the grace of God. My foot is killing me and my legs ache. God humbled me again during the race. There were people that didn't "look" like they should have been in front of me but guess what...they were and good for them! And thank you God for keeping me humble. Thank you for keeping me knees at the foot of the cross for 2 1/2 hours this morning. Thank you for sustaining my body to complete this task. Now, the marathon begins of bringing these children home. I continue to pray for endurance and good judgement. I will pray that God will put a hedge of protection around Joan and Derrick while we wait for them. I pray that I will not wish my life away and that I will give thanks for all of the many blessing God has given me. Thank you for sharing my story. Thank you for your prayers!
In Him,
Amiee
We'll it's Sunday afternoon. We ran the race and all I can say is I only finished by the grace of God. My foot is killing me and my legs ache. God humbled me again during the race. There were people that didn't "look" like they should have been in front of me but guess what...they were and good for them! And thank you God for keeping me humble. Thank you for keeping me knees at the foot of the cross for 2 1/2 hours this morning. Thank you for sustaining my body to complete this task. Now, the marathon begins of bringing these children home. I continue to pray for endurance and good judgement. I will pray that God will put a hedge of protection around Joan and Derrick while we wait for them. I pray that I will not wish my life away and that I will give thanks for all of the many blessing God has given me. Thank you for sharing my story. Thank you for your prayers!
In Him,
Amiee
No comments:
Post a Comment