"The marriage interview"

Joan writing her name...she is so smart!

"And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to him must believe
that he exists and that he rewards those who
earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6

This has been a great week.  We had our last of four visits with our social worker for our home study.  This week,she interviewed Todd and I regarding our "marriage". The week of "love"...perfect timing for an interview about marriage.  A friend asked me earlier in the week what I was going to reveal to her about our marriage.  After thinking for a few seconds I responded, "I do the best I can with what I have to work with."  Yes, that was sarcasm.  I have identified sarcasm in my life recently :) Yes, I shouldn't have responded that way but I did.  Todd and I both laughed about my "rudeness".  But actually, the statement is true for me and it's also true for Todd.  We aren't perfect and we never give up on each other.  Thank the Lord!  The social worker seemed surprised about my answer when she asked me, "What did you think marriage would be like?"  I told her I thought I would marry a farmer.  I like getting up early.  I like the simple way of life.  I like eating a big lunch and having leftovers for dinner.  I like going to bed early.  I never wanted to raise chickens or have more than two dogs so I probably wouldn't have liked it as much as I thought I would.  If you know Todd, you know there is nothing about him that is like a farmer.  He is a night owl.  He likes to sleep late.  He usually eats a simple lunch and he's hungry  when he comes home from work.  She didn't ask Todd that question.  I was really curious what he would have said.  I tried my best to only answer the questions she asked me and let Todd answer the questions that she asked him.  I tend to think I know what he's going to say but I was "submissive" and respectful of the Todd.  She asked us how we thought the adjustment would be when we get the children home.  My answer was something like..."oh, it's going to be great.  Laurel will teach Joan to read.  Coleman will play with Derrick."  Todd's answer was, "it's going to be difficult."  The social worker said, "that's what I was hoping to hear you say.  It is going to be difficult."  The beauty of Todd's response to me is that Todd knows it's going to be difficult and he still can't wait for these children to be part of our family.  He asks me ever day, "have you heard from them?".  I can't wait until I say in a restaurant, "we need a table for 6 and 2 kids menus."   The social worker asked me, "What is the best part of your marriage?"  My answer, "I've gotten to be married to my best friend for the last 20 years and he is still the love of my life."  Some days love is a choice and not a feeling.  That's okay with me.  God chooses to love us because we sure don't deserve his love and grace.  Thankful, Todd chooses to love me because I don't always "deserve" his affections.  This week, Joel sent the photo above.  Joan is learning to write her name!  She is amazing.  She is so small to me. Her size is no reflection of how God is using her in a mighty way.  I pray that all of my children know that God can do mighty things through them.  I have been reading two other families blogs that are in Uganda right now bringing home three children.  To read what they have had to go through since they have been there makes me realize once again that this adoption will only be by the grace of God.   One family has been there only 2 1/2 weeks and the other family has been there almost one month.  They are both coming home on the same flight tonight.  Closing Todd's office for 2 1/2 - 4 weeks has been a stumbling block for me.  He has to be there for any revenue to come in.  I've been trying to convince Todd to only stay for a week and give me power of attorney and I will bring the kids home.  He said, "I'm there daddy and I'm not coming home until WE bring them home."  I love the "resolve" Todd has about staying.  There is no doubt of what his plans are.  Is this faith?  I think it is.  Worrying about closing the office for so long...Is this a lack of faith on my part?  I know it is!   A dear friend of ours called me last Friday night.  She had just read the "blog".  She said that her husband, who is a dentist, would work for Todd on Mondays while we were gone.  Another friend said he would rearrange his schedule and work for Todd on another day of the week while we were gone.  Why am I always amazed when God does things that I think are impossible?  Why do I put God in a box?  Once again, because there are still many times when I focus on "the ways of the world".  I fool myself and I think I'm really in control.  Thank the Lord I am not!  James 4:10 "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."  Thank you Lord for lifting me up!

In Him,

Amiee