"Are we there yet?"

What a beautiful day it is today!  We have had a good week but there's not much news from Africa.  I have to keep reminding myself that this process is not about me but about God's perfect plan and God's perfect timing and He's got me on a "need to know basis" and I guess for now, I don't "need to know".  I can't begin to complain about the Ugandan government because I haven't gotten our paper work through the American government.  I know this if for the protection of children from the "bad" people but I am not one of those and I really don't understand why I need two back ground checks...one by the state and one by the federal government.  Shouldn't they be connected?  But, that is the process and that is what we will do to be able to get to the next step which is sending everything to the Ugandan government.  I am so blessed.  A friend of mine that I have known for a couple of years is going with Suzanne and Jon to Sozo for Spring Break.  She will get to see Joan and Derrick and she will love them.  She asked me last week what she could do to help.  She said, "why can't we just bring them back when we come back?"  That makes sense to me but there is a little law called "child trafficing" and I think that's what we are trying to avoid by jumping through all of these "hoops".  Then, she encouraged me to pray that God just works it all out and maybe they can bring them home.  So, that is what I have been praying.  I believe that God can work all of this out in ways that everyone else says are impossible.  HE is an amazing God!  Why do I continue to underestimate him?  Because those are the thoughts of the "ways of the world".  The bible is very clear.  Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways."  This scripture challenges me to define, "my ways".  My ways are causing me to stumble on my own feet.  My ways cause me to have anxiety about bad things happening to them before we get them.  So, today, again I put these children and my hope back where it needs to be...at the foot of the cross, in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Am I going to pray for patience?  Absolutely not!  I am going to pray for God's plan and timing be revealed to me and that I rest in knowing that HE is their father and He is protecting and providing for them.  I was able to talk with a mom that just got back from Uganda with her son and daughter.  Their journey of adoption through Uganda is a story of hope for me.  She is a great resource for us and I know our children will be friends soon.  She sent me a list this morning of some suggestions that I can begin working on in Uganda.  I actually think I will give this list to my friend that's going in March.  What are the odds that someone I know has the opportunity to go see these children while we wait to be united with them?  God would say, "Amiee, that would be 100% because I am in charge and I know what I am doing?"  So, today I am going to enjoy God's glory and grace that He has freely given to me and I don't deserve it!

In His Grip!
Amiee

"The marriage interview"

Joan writing her name...she is so smart!

"And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to him must believe
that he exists and that he rewards those who
earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6

This has been a great week.  We had our last of four visits with our social worker for our home study.  This week,she interviewed Todd and I regarding our "marriage". The week of "love"...perfect timing for an interview about marriage.  A friend asked me earlier in the week what I was going to reveal to her about our marriage.  After thinking for a few seconds I responded, "I do the best I can with what I have to work with."  Yes, that was sarcasm.  I have identified sarcasm in my life recently :) Yes, I shouldn't have responded that way but I did.  Todd and I both laughed about my "rudeness".  But actually, the statement is true for me and it's also true for Todd.  We aren't perfect and we never give up on each other.  Thank the Lord!  The social worker seemed surprised about my answer when she asked me, "What did you think marriage would be like?"  I told her I thought I would marry a farmer.  I like getting up early.  I like the simple way of life.  I like eating a big lunch and having leftovers for dinner.  I like going to bed early.  I never wanted to raise chickens or have more than two dogs so I probably wouldn't have liked it as much as I thought I would.  If you know Todd, you know there is nothing about him that is like a farmer.  He is a night owl.  He likes to sleep late.  He usually eats a simple lunch and he's hungry  when he comes home from work.  She didn't ask Todd that question.  I was really curious what he would have said.  I tried my best to only answer the questions she asked me and let Todd answer the questions that she asked him.  I tend to think I know what he's going to say but I was "submissive" and respectful of the Todd.  She asked us how we thought the adjustment would be when we get the children home.  My answer was something like..."oh, it's going to be great.  Laurel will teach Joan to read.  Coleman will play with Derrick."  Todd's answer was, "it's going to be difficult."  The social worker said, "that's what I was hoping to hear you say.  It is going to be difficult."  The beauty of Todd's response to me is that Todd knows it's going to be difficult and he still can't wait for these children to be part of our family.  He asks me ever day, "have you heard from them?".  I can't wait until I say in a restaurant, "we need a table for 6 and 2 kids menus."   The social worker asked me, "What is the best part of your marriage?"  My answer, "I've gotten to be married to my best friend for the last 20 years and he is still the love of my life."  Some days love is a choice and not a feeling.  That's okay with me.  God chooses to love us because we sure don't deserve his love and grace.  Thankful, Todd chooses to love me because I don't always "deserve" his affections.  This week, Joel sent the photo above.  Joan is learning to write her name!  She is amazing.  She is so small to me. Her size is no reflection of how God is using her in a mighty way.  I pray that all of my children know that God can do mighty things through them.  I have been reading two other families blogs that are in Uganda right now bringing home three children.  To read what they have had to go through since they have been there makes me realize once again that this adoption will only be by the grace of God.   One family has been there only 2 1/2 weeks and the other family has been there almost one month.  They are both coming home on the same flight tonight.  Closing Todd's office for 2 1/2 - 4 weeks has been a stumbling block for me.  He has to be there for any revenue to come in.  I've been trying to convince Todd to only stay for a week and give me power of attorney and I will bring the kids home.  He said, "I'm there daddy and I'm not coming home until WE bring them home."  I love the "resolve" Todd has about staying.  There is no doubt of what his plans are.  Is this faith?  I think it is.  Worrying about closing the office for so long...Is this a lack of faith on my part?  I know it is!   A dear friend of ours called me last Friday night.  She had just read the "blog".  She said that her husband, who is a dentist, would work for Todd on Mondays while we were gone.  Another friend said he would rearrange his schedule and work for Todd on another day of the week while we were gone.  Why am I always amazed when God does things that I think are impossible?  Why do I put God in a box?  Once again, because there are still many times when I focus on "the ways of the world".  I fool myself and I think I'm really in control.  Thank the Lord I am not!  James 4:10 "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."  Thank you Lord for lifting me up!

In Him,

Amiee

"Patience"

Hebrews 12: 2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

This week I lost sight of this verse plain and simple.  We had our 3 of 4 home study visits.  The social worker interviewed Laurel and me.  Laurel was very nervous about her questions.  I think she thought she would say something she shouldn't say and I can't think of anything that Laurel would say that wouldn't be spoken in truth and love.  Her answers were simple and honest.  Her face showed excitement and love of our two family members that are on the other side of the world.  There was only one of Laurel's answers that surprised me.  The social worker asked her, " What do you think will be the hardest part of having these children come and live with you?"...(something like that) and Laurel's answer was, "I'm going to need more patience."  I have never perceived Laurel as not having patience.  I don't remember a time where I have seen her respond to me with impatience.  She has a heart for God.  She told the social worker she had been working on having more patience.  Her answer made me pause because I have always thought that I was a very patient person myself.  Would I need more patience?  I have prayed for patience before and let me tell you from first hand experience, don't pray for patience unless you want to be tested.  I think God looks at us with a slight smile and says to us "game on" when we ask for patience.  I thought all night as it snowed harder than it has in a while, do I have enough patience to raise these children?  Then a couple of good friends reminded me I am not equipped to do anything much less raise these children but He is.  All week long, I am ashamed to say, I have not focused on God.  I have been distracted with the weather, work issues, scheduling issues, and I have been serving myself and others instead of my Heavenly Father.  I started thinking about how "I" can get all of this paperwork done quicker.  How can "I" get ready for the home inspection and so on and so on.  I have been short with Todd and the kids because I have been focused on myself.  I am not going to pray for patience during this process.  I am going to continue to pray that I will choose to surrender to God.  I am going to pray that I am an obedient servant of the Lord and that I will choose Him first, not when it fits into my crazy schedule.  I day dream about having these children in my life.  I don't need to think that far ahead because my moto for 2011 is "One day at a time."  I will miss precious time with Laurel, Coleman and Todd  and I will "wish my life away".  I don't want to wish my life away.  I want to fix my eyes on Jesus Christ the author and perfecter of my faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and set down at the right hand of the throne of God."  Julie, Chris, Josh, Nicholas and Lucas are here for the weekend.  Davy and Amanda are on the way.  If the good Lord is willing, Julie, Amanda and I are going to run the Mercede's 1/2 marathon in the morning.  I will be able to mark that little task off my "bucket list".  We are having a great visit.  


We'll it's Sunday afternoon.  We ran the race and all I can say is I only finished by the grace of God.  My foot is killing me and my legs ache.  God humbled me again during the race.  There were people that didn't "look" like they should have been in front of me but guess what...they were and good for them!  And thank you God for keeping me humble.  Thank you for keeping me knees at the foot of the cross for 2 1/2 hours this morning.  Thank you for sustaining my body to complete this task.  Now, the marathon begins of bringing these children home.  I continue to pray for endurance and good judgement. I will pray that God will put a hedge of protection around Joan and Derrick while we wait for them.   I pray that I will not wish my life away and that I will give thanks for all of the many blessing God has given me.  Thank you for sharing my story.  Thank you for your prayers!  


In Him,


Amiee

"Time"

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."  Psalm 40:1-2

This has been an interesting week and I have a lot to pray about.  We had our second home study meeting with our social worker.  She interviewed Todd and Coleman about the adoption.  Coleman is a man of few words.  His smile is amazing.  His heart is enormous.  His spirit is contagious.  He says what he means and he means what he says...literally.  Sometimes his legalistic approach to the English language makes it confusing to understand  what exactly he means.  I have always thought he makes things harder than they are but in reality it's me that makes things harder than they are.  Coleman is actually very simplistic.  The social worker asked him just a few questions...mainly things like "how do you feel about the adoption?", just stuff like that.  All of the simple, obvious, questions she asked Coleman responded with his simple, truthful answers.  I don't remember how she phrased the last question but I think it was something like, "Do you think you will have to give up anything for these children to come and live you?"  With a smile on his face and confidence from his heart Coleman answered "yes".  And she said, "What do you think you will have to give up?"  Coleman answered "time".  Of all the answers he could have given her...a bathroom, a bedroom, traveling less, his answer was "time".  She tried her best to get him to elaborate.  But, again, his answer was simple and self explanatory.  His answer what spoken in truth and love.  Then she asked him "Why do you think you are going to sacrifice "time" for them?"  Coleman's answer was, "so they can have a better life".  As a mother, I want to give our children everything.  I don't want them to be without anything.  Now, God is blessing me with these two children on the other side of the world that have nothing.  Coleman's answers challenged me to think about what am I willing to sacrifice for these children to come and live with us.  He is exactly right.  What they need more than a bathroom, a pillow, food, shelter, is they need "time".  Time with a mother that adores every imperfect quality God has given them, time to get to know us, time for them to process what God's plan for them is in their life.  They need time for their daddy to play with them, time for their daddy to teach them to ride a bicycle, time for their daddy to dress them in purple and gold.  They need time for their sister to read to them, time for her to teach them the sign language that she is so earnestly learning and I'm sure if Laurel can get Joan to sit still, she will be knitting before we get home from Africa.  They need time to grieve for their country, their grandmother and the only life that they have known.  They need time for their big brother to teach them to play baseball, basketball and unfortunately wrestling.  Maybe they will need time to learn to play the guitar too.  We will give them all the time they need and we will love them with all that we are!  We already do.  Todd's interview took about 40 minutes.  I knew all of the answers to the questions that she was asking him but to hear him articulate his plans for our family's life before these children and his plans for our family after we adopt these children was one of the most touching times I've had with Todd.  Todd's answers are simple to him but honestly sometimes I think we speak different languages.  But, his answers were straight forward and easy for me to understand.  There was nothing he said that surprised me and through his answers, God confirmed to me again I am right where I am supposed to be...submissive to my husband and my knees are at the foot of the cross.  I am praying that pride will not creep back into my heart and that I will continue to know and believe that all of this is going to happen in God's time.  I am praying that I will continue to trust in Him with these children that are living in conditions that I can't comprehend.  I am praying that I will not be anxious about their safety because God has completely provided for them and kept them safe in the most undesirable conditions.  I'm praying that the fingerprints we did at Shelby County Jail that took two hours to acquire  (because I have worked my fingers to the bone and some of mine wouldn't process) print today and can be mailed for the state back ground check.   They wouldn't print because the only printer that prints finger prints broke.  The only man that can repair the printer was in Montgomery.  I pray that God will help the printer print them today.  I pray that our passports will come back expeditiously.  I pray for God's speed in this process.  See, I'm already getting impatient.  Lord, help me keep my feet set on the rock.

Love,

Amiee